


I Wanna Be Yours

by wanderingwitchoftime



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Domestic, M/M, not super hardcore angst though in fact its fluffy at first
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-06-30
Packaged: 2018-01-26 23:34:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1706636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wanderingwitchoftime/pseuds/wanderingwitchoftime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Egbert has been best friends with Dave Strider for what seems like forever. They seemed inseparable! But things start changing when Dave Strider performed a love song addressed to "his best friend" for the school talent show.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Talent Show

Your name is John Egbert and you are super excited!

Tomorrow is your school’s talent show. Usually, you don’t care much about that, but Dave will be performing this year! He’s going to sing a song, but he won’t tell you what song it is. He wants it to be a surprise and keeps telling you that you don’t know it. Whatever!

You invited Dave over for a sleepover tonight. Usually you only have sleepovers on the weekend, and today is Thursday. But tomorrow is a special day, of course. None of your classes will be doing much. You just want to hang out with Dave as much as you can before the show!

You’ve heard him sing. The two of you have been friends since elementary school. You’ve been able to get him to sing for real during karaoke nights a few times over the years. You’ve never seen him perform on a stage though!

You told Dave to finish his homework and then come over. He knocks on your door at 6:50.

“Ay,” He greets casually.

You smile brightly at him. “Hey! Come in!”

You step out of the doorway and close the door behind Dave. He’s got his backpack slung over one shoulder. By now, he’s been to your house enough times to know where to put his bag. He sets it next to yours and looks at you.

“What activities have you planned?” He says in a mock-proper voice.

“I didn’t plan anything. What do you wanna do?”

“Movie?”

You smile brightly and skip towards the living room, grabbing Dave’s arm and pulling him behind you.

“What should we watch?” You ask, stopping by you huge DVD case.

“Got anything new?”

“We just bought _Princess Bride._ It was on sale at Target.”

“I’ll watch that.”

You turn and give him an amused look. “You like that movie?”

“Everyone likes that movie.”

You smile and shrug. “Works for me!”

He puts the movie in while you make popcorn. He takes his shades off before you start it. It still warms your heart to know that he’s comfortable enough to show you his eyes casually. You’ve seen them more than anyone else, he told you once. Your group of friends have seen them, but you’ve noticed he’s more willing to take them off when you’re alone than when you’re with the others.

The two of you cuddle up together on the couch with the popcorn on your laps. You and Dave are far past the point of awkward touches. You don’t remember when cuddling became a thing that you guys do, but it did. You came up with a name for your relationship: Snuggle-bros.

Dave watches the movie almost like a normal person. Of course, he makes dumb comments and doesn’t always react the way he’s supposed to, but he doesn’t make fun of it like he does when you watch one of your favorite movies.

Afterward, you mute the title screen and angle yourself to look at him.

“Are you ready for tomorrow?”

“Uh…” He rubs the back of his neck. “Not really.”

“Do you want to practice?”

“Nah, I’ve practiced, like, a hundred times. I’m just nervous.”

“Well, that’s normal. I’m sure you’re gonna do great, though!”

“Yeah, thanks.”

You smile at him. “What is it you’re nervous about?”

He shrugs lightly. “Reactions, I guess.”

“Aww. You know, even if you do horrible, I’ll still be your friend.”

He gives you a look that you don’t really understand.

“Obviously,” He says after a few seconds.

“And the rest of our friends won’t care either. And who cares about anyone else, right?”

“Bro said he might show up.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He found out that I’m in it when he asked why I’ve been coming home late, you know, because of rehearsals. He didn’t say anything about it until I was about to leave for your house.”

“That’s great!”

“It’s nerve-wracking.”

You’re also past the point of Dave hiding all of his feelings. Well, you’re not _completely_ past that point, but he’s much more lenient now.

“You’re gonna do so awesome, Dave. So awesome.”

A smile ghosts his face, but it looks like what you’re saying isn’t really helping. You do your best to give him a good hug, but it’s hard when you’re sitting down.

“So are you gonna tell me what song you’re singing?” You ask into his ear.

“Come on, don’t tell me you can’t wait another day.”

“Just asking!” You return to your position, leaning into his side.

When your dad comes downstairs, he makes you guys dinner. It’s not long after that until you and Dave head to your room to sleep. You sleep in the same bed, facing each other, knees touching barely. You stay up a while longer, just talking softly to each other in the darkness. Dave dozes off first and you make a point to make fun of him tomorrow morning before falling asleep yourself.

 

You wake up with Dave’s hand curling into and ruffling your hair.

“Wake up, sleeping beauty.” His voice is soft and sweet.

You blink a few times before smiling sleepily. “What time is it?”

“6:30 am.”

School starts at 8:00 am. You groan and push the blanket off of you and Dave. It doesn’t take long for the two of you to get ready.

Dave drives you to school. You’re practically bouncing with excitement. You’re going to try to record the performance on your phone, so you can watch it over and over again!

“This is going to be great. You’ll be the best performer, I know you will.” You grin at him from the passenger’s seat.

“Don’t get your hopes up too much, Egbert. I’d hate to disappoint.”

The talent Show is during 1st and 2nd period. It’s supposed to end right as break starts.

You see your friends before school starts. You have to go take roll in your first period class before you walk over to the multipurpose room. You’re next to a girl named Vriska and a boy named Eridan. Vriska tried to talk to you during the show, but you wave her off. You don’t know when Dave’s supposed to go on, so you watch the stage intently. Eridan tries to talk over you to Vriska a couple times, and you glare at him until he sinks back into his seat.

When the MC introduces Dave, you sit up and fumble to grab your phone from your backpack. You start shooting as Dave walks on.

“Hey,” He looks down, as if he’s hesitating. “This goes out to my best friend.” He says, finally.

Your heart flips and a smile grows on your face. You know he’s talking about you. YOU’RE Dave’s best friend. No one else is. It’s you.

The song starts with a mellow track. He gently cups the microphone before the lyrics start:

_“Wanna be your vacuum cleaner/breathing in your dust. Wanna be your Ford Cortina/and I will never rust.”_

Those are weird lyrics, you think. He’s right, you’ve never heard this song. You listen closely to the lyrics.

_“If you like your coffee hot/let me be your coffee pot. You call the shots babe, I just wanna be yours.”_

Your breath hitches slightly, confused, but you keep listening.

_“Secrets I have held in my heart, are harder to hide than I thought. Maybe I just wanna be yours, I wanna be yours, I wanna be yours.”_

Yup, you think you’re hearing those words correctly. Your eyebrows knit and you scoot back slightly. It takes you a second to realize that the hand that’s holding your phone is shaking. You end the video and put your hand down, though the song’s not over. You can hear you heart beat in your ears. You didn’t expect that at ALL. Dave’s voice shakes slightly, almost undetectably, during what you assume to be the chorus. The sound makes your stomach seem heavy.

You’re having trouble listening to the lyrics. No, you’re having trouble breathing. This is a prank, isn’t it? Dave doesn’t like you. He can’t, there’s no way. Or maybe you’re not his best friend. That thought isn’t at all comforting, it seems. You want to be Dave’s best friend.

And he wants to be your boyfriend, you guess?

You breathe deeply and slowly, forcing yourself to listen.

_“—portable heater/ that you’ll get cold without. Wanna be your setting lotion/ hold your hair in deep devotion/at least as deep as the Pacific Ocean, I wanna be yours.”_

The chorus repeats again. After that, the track continues with repeated lyrics as the bridge. The track dies out and Dave nods and waves slightly at the crowd. His movements seem stiff. You find yourself staring at the spot behind the curtain he disappeared into for the entire next act.

You have to sit through the rest of the show, wallowing in your own thoughts. Vriska and Eridan don’t talk anymore, or you don’t hear them, anyway.

You don’t know what you’ll say to Dave. You think the easiest way would be a good old-fashioned, _“I’m not gay.”_ You just want to let him down easy. You hope things aren’t awkward, but they will be.

You’ve never liked a boy, ever.

Not even a tall blond boy. Not a slim but muscular boy with striking red eyes. Not a handsome guy with nice cheekbones with light freckles. Not pale skin.  Not straight teeth. Not shades. Not a funny, sweet, dorky, cute boy.

You blink a few times. Where did that come from? All of that stuff was covered when you said you’ve never liked a boy. Haha, weird.

You calm down a little bit by the end of the show, but as soon as the MC announces that it’s over, your heart rate picks up. You force yourself up. You don’t know why it’s so hard to move. Oh, that’s why. Your legs are shaking and your chest is tight. Half of you wants to run and find Dave, half of you wants to avoid him.

You end up walking in the crowd like anyone else, casually looking around for Dave. You hope it looks casual. If you see Dave, you’ll talk to him. If you don’t, then you’ll find your friends and go through break like any other day. Jade and Rose pass by you in the crowd and wave. You have a feeling there’s a reason they don’t stop to walk with you.

And then you see Dave. He hops out from backstage and into the crowd. He stands still, looking around. You watch from the other side of the hall. A few people tell him he did well. One person, who you don’t recognize stops to talk to him. You listen in on the conversation.

“That was great! Who’s this Best Friend of yours?”

“I’m looking for him now,” Dave still hasn’t spotted you. Probably because you’re shorter than most kids your age.

“Tell me his name!”

“His name’s… John,” His voice sounds distracted. Your heart skips a beat at the sound of your name.

“John Egbert?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, he’s right over there.” The stranger points in my direction.

You lift your shoulders up, put on a smile, and wave awkwardly. Dave pushes through the crowd until he reaches you. You look at each other for a second before he puts a hand on your back and says, “Let’s go outside.”

You let him guide you to an empty spot where the two of you can talk. You’re still not sure what you’re going to say. You’re standing close to each other, but not uncomfortably close.

He take a long breath. “So…”

You look at him. He’s nervous. Most people probably wouldn’t guess it, but he is. You know him well enough to realize that.

“Uh… I’m not gay.” You say as politely and softly as you can manage.

He just sort of vaguely nods. “I thought you might say that.”

You stare awkwardly at the floor and rock on your heels. After a few seconds, you say, “Sorry.” Though you’re not sure what for.

“Don’t be,” He quickly counters. You look up at him. He’s using his poker face.

“Are you _really_ using you poker face right now?”

“There are other people around, dude.” He vaguely looks around before focusing on you again.

You feel a twist in your gut. Guilt, maybe. Or empathy.

“Dave?”

“Yeah?”

You wait a second before throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him tightly. He hesitantly wraps his arms around your waist.

“You sang really well.” You whisper into his ear to lighten the mood.

He snorts. “Thanks.”

“You’re still my best friend.” You don’t let him go yet.

“I better be. Shit.”

You laugh at him and pull away. His arms reluctantly leave your waist and you back up one step.

“Always!” You respond finally. He sighs softly and nods.

It is awkward. It’s really awkward. You try to ignore the awkwardness, hoping all it takes is one good conversation before everything’s back to normal. The two of you go find your friends where you usually sit. They stare at you and Dave expectantly. Dave shakes his head almost undetectably. You sit next to Dave and Jade.

“You did so good, Dave!” Jade cheers, effectively ending the silence.

“He did so _well_.” Rose corrects. “But she’s right. Good job.”

“Thanks, guys.”

“Very romantic.” Kanaya states. You think Rose kicks her under the table. “I mean, um,”

“Don’t sweat it, Maryam.” Dave waves her off. You feel a pang of guilt.

It’s awkward for a second before someone runs up and throws her arms around Dave’s neck from behind. “Dave!”

“Terezi,” He tilts his head back to look at her.

“That was great! Who were you singing to?”

He takes a short breath and tilts his head in my direction as an answer. It’s common knowledge that Terezi has a crush on Dave, and she has for a while. And Karkat likes Terezi, so it’s usually awkward when she’s around anyway. Now, it’s worse.

You spare a small wave at her as you feel yourself blush. She doesn’t look upset at all, she just beams at you. “Lucky boy!”

You chuckle and scratch at the back of your head.

Dave twists in his seat and whispers something to her. Her face goes sour for a second before she smiles and leaves.

“I guess I’ll be getting that for the rest of the day.” Dave groans.

“Sucks.” Jade reaches over me and pats his shoulder.

The awkwardness spreads throughout the group. Eventually, Kanaya brings up another act from the show and that starts a long conversation that lasts until break ends.

You go through your next two classes almost normally.  One person tries to ask, “Isn’t Dave Strider your best friend?” casually, as if it was a random question. You just nod and focus on your notes, blushing. They don’t say anything else.

Lunch goes a lot like break. It’s awkward, but the others keep conversation up well. Right after the bell rings for 5th period, Dave touches your arm.

“You still want a ride after school?”

“Uh-huh!” You smile at him before turning away and walking towards you class.

He catches up with you. “Our classes are right next to each other,” he mumbles.

Oh, yeah. You usually walk with him to 5th period.

“Oh, yeah, haha.” You shove his arm to make it seem more like a normal conversation.

It’s quiet for a second. “Ay, what did we do in Mrs. Peixes’s class?”

“We did one of those warm up sheets and then started writing a story.”

“Story?”

“Yeah, we have to write a short story by Monday.”

He sighs. “Lame.”

“I like writing!”

“Yeah, me too, but not when I’m told what to write about.”

“It’s a pretty vague prompt.”

“What is it?”

“You’ll see.”

We stop walking outside of our classrooms and face each other.

I push him gently. “See you after school.”

“See ya.” He turns around and walks into his class.

You take a deep breath before going into your class. Things don’t seem any less awkward. Maybe after the ride home?

5th, 6th, and 7th period go by fast. You have homework, but not too much. You meet Dave at the front of the school.

“Sup,” He greets.

“Hey,”

You start walking towards his truck.

“How was your day?” He asks politely.

“Fine. Pretty boring. The talent show was a lot of fun.”

“Yeah? Who was your favorite act?”

“You, duh.” You shove him with your hip. “You smoked all those bitches.”

He smirks, but doesn’t reply.

“How was _your_ day?”

“Annoying. People kept talking to me.”

You mock a horrified face. “Oh no! People!”

“Exactly. People are to be feared.”

“Why? What are people gonna do to you?”

He pauses and shrugs. “Annoy me.”

“You’re so grumpy.”

“Can you blame me?”

By then, we’re at his truck and I walk around the front to the passenger side. You think he was just referring to you rejecting him. And you guess you can’t blame him, rejection sucks. You feel guilty again, right when things were starting to feel normal.

“We should do movie night tomorrow.” You suggest. Movie night is when you get all your friends to come over and you watch movies and play video games and stuff. Your older siblings come, too.

“I’m free.”

He starts driving. It’s silent for a couple seconds.

“What was the song you sang?” You ask to break the silence. You’d rather just pretend nothing is awkward until it goes away.

“ _I Wanna Be Yours_ by Arctic Monkeys.” He answers.

“Arctic Monkeys. I’ve never heard of them.”

“They’re pretty great.”

“Why have you never told me about them?”

“Telling you about them would risk the possibility of you finding the song.” He makes a sharp turn.

“So?”

“I wanted you to have to listen to the lyrics.”

“Why?”

He shrugs. “So you’d hear me better.”

You look at him and try to analyze his face. Perfect poker face. But that gives away more than he thinks. You know that if he was okay, he wouldn’t be trying so hard.

The problem with knowing he’s not okay, is that you don’t know how to fix it.

It’s silent for at least a minute before Dave mutters, “Damn it.”

“Huh?”

“This is so awkward. Shit. I just, I shouldn’t have done anything. Or, I should’ve sang “best friend” by Queen. That would’ve been smarter. Because Freddie Mercury was hella gay, and that song’s pretty damn gay too, so if you liked me back I could be like, ‘oh yeah that was a love song I just sang for you.’ But if you didn’t I could be like, ‘that songs about a best friend no homo.’”

His rant continues on as you just stare at him. His way of getting over awkwardness is to fill it with words, so you let him ramble. He stops as he gets to your street.

You pause. “Uh, sorry, I’ll try not to be awkward?”

“No no no, it’s not you. It just _is_ awkward.”

“We’ll get over that soon, probably…”

The car comes to a top. You look at each other for a minute.

“Hey…” Dave starts. “It’d be cool if you, like, thought about it.”

“Thought about what?”

He pushes his glasses up to make a show of him rolling his eyes.

“Shut up.” You laugh. It’s so funny when he does that, you think. What a dork.

“Think about my crush.” He says hesitantly.

“Oh! Okay, I will.” There wasn’t much to think about, but you can’t just say no.

“Okay. Bye, Egderp.”

“Bye!” You jump out and walk up to your door.

You finish your homework, other than the story, before your Dad gets home. The night is uneventful until you go up to your room and check Pesterchum

GG: so what happened? :o

TT: If you’d like to talk about today, I’ll be online until 10.

TG: sup

You sigh before deciding to message Jade first.

gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

GG: so what happened? :o  
EB: bluh.  
EB: i told dave that i’m not gay and that was it.  
GG: oh please :p  
GG: if that was it, it wouldn’t have been so awkward!  
GG: the tension was so bad.  
EB: that WAS it! it was awkward because dave is sad and i feel guilty.  
GG: aww :(  
GG: you don’t have to feel guilty! You didnt do anything  
EB: i know but i still do.  
EB: i don’t want dave to be sad.  
EB: dave’s great and he should be happy.  
GG: maybe you are a little gay, john!  
GG: you sound pretty gay to me.  
EB: what!  
GG: just kidding, dummy :p  
GG: youre right, dave is great, but so are you and you should be happy too!  
GG: being in a relationship you don’t want to be in isnt good.  
GG: so dont feel bad!  
EB: thanks, jade.  
GG: no problem!  
EB: hey, rose has been pestering me so i’m going to talk to her now.  
EB: bye!  
GG: bye john!!

ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG]

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

TT: If you’d like to talk about today, I’ll be online until 10.  
TT: I see that you’re online.  
TT: You could at least say hi.  
EB: hi rose!!  
EB: sorry, i was talking to jade.  
TT: Hello, John.  
EB: about today, everything is fine, seriously.  
TT: Don’t tell me you talked to Jade about this.  
TT: John, I thought we decided that I’m your go-to therapist.  
EB: haha, shut up.  
EB: she actually did help me.  
EB: i didn’t mean to talk to her about it, it just kind of happened.  
TT: Well I hope it just kind of happens again.  
EB: if you insist. weirdo.  
EB: i told dave that im not gay.  
EB: he was sad and it made me feel bad but we hugged and he said it’s okay.  
EB: anyway the rest of the day it was awkward between us and i feel pretty guilty.  
EB: he told me to think about it.  
TT: Have you thought about it?  
EB: not really.  
EB: what is there to think about?  
TT: Whether or not you like him back.  
EB: but i already know that i don’t!  
TT: Are you sure?  
EB: yes!  
EB: he’s a GUY and i’m NOT GAY.  
TT: You don’t have to be gay to like a boy, John.  
TT: There are many other options.  
EB: Well, I don’t like guys, okay.  
TT: Okay, John.  
EB: dave messaged me a while ago.  
EB: i don’t want him to think i’m ignoring him, so i’m going to go talk to him now.  
TT: Alright. Goodbye.  
EB: bye.

ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB]

TG: sup  
EB: hey!  
TG: whatre you doing  
EB: nothing. i got my homework done already.  
TG: nerd  
EB: whatever, striderp.  
TG: what  
TG: hell no  
TG: how dare you  
EB: aww, cant handle a bit of your own medicine?  
TG: nah thats just super unoriginal man  
TG: ive been calling you egderp for years  
TG: i thought you were done with that copycat shit  
EB: i’ve been calling you striderp almost as long!  
TG: no dude  
TG: it took you at least a year after i called you egderp for you to come up with that  
EB: bullshit.  
TG: well either way i came up with egderp first so  
EB: yeah yeah.  
EB: what are you doing?  
TG: homework  
TG: writing that dumb ass story for la  
EB: what is it about?  
TG: well the prompt is make it a horror story  
EB: i know.  
TG: yeah  
TG: well im gonna have a murderer  
TG: and its gonna be in the perspective of the murderers best friend  
TG: and everyone thinks the murders are accidents right  
TG: but the murderer tells the best friend that he’s been killing them  
TG: and the best friend is like  
TG: dang murder is whack i should probably call the cops  
TG: but my best friend is a pretty hella dude  
TG: and people keep dying and i think the best friend is gonna start going crazy but idk  
TG: haven’t gotten that far  
EB: wow that sounds really interesting!  
EB: can i read it when you’re done?  
TG: sure  
TG: whats yours about  
EB: i haven’t written much.  
TG: thought you said you got all your homework done  
EB: yeah, everything but the story.  
EB: so, it’s gonna be in third person.  
EB: and there’s a ghost.  
TG: oh shit  
EB: and the ghost is doing whatever for a while.  
EB: closing doors and turning lights off, mildly scaring people.  
EB: but one day, the ghost gets really mad and traps people in the building.  
EB: i’m not sure what’s going to happen after that.  
TG: whats gonna piss the lil ghost off  
EB: not sure. :/  
TG: we should hang out and write our stories together  
EB: okay!  
TG: awesome  
TG: are we gonna do movie night tomorrow  
EB: i haven’t asked the others about it but i want to.  
TG: your house  
EB: yeah.  
TG: ok ill be right back im gonna text them

You wait.

TG: yup everyone can come 5 pm your place  
EB: great!  
TG: ill come over early and we can do the writing thing  
TG: if you want  
EB: sure.  
TG: okay ill be there at like 1  
EB: sounds good!  
TG: bro too probably  
EB: okay. he can hang out with jane.  
TG: yeah cool  
EB: i’m gonna go to bed now. see you tomorrow!  
EB: don’t finish your paper without me.  
TG: i wouldnt dare  
TG: night

ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

You’re not really tired, but you don’t know what to talk about. The conversation didn’t feel awkward, but you didn’t want to wait until it got awkward. Dave always either rambles about nothing for ten minutes or gives you full stops. How are you supposed to reply to “yeah cool?” Bluh.

You feel guilty, so you decide that you’ll actually go to bed. It doesn’t take long to fall asleep.


	2. Movie Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fair warning: this fic has kind of a lot of filler chapters with not much substance. They all have some, though, so bare with me here! Anywho, to the fic~~

Your name is Dave Strider and you’re having trouble sleeping.

Earlier, you told your crush of almost 3 years that you like him in the form of a song. It was hella ironic. You suppose John didn’t register the incredible irony though because he rejected you immediately.

You’re trying not to think about that as you lay in your bed. Just go to sleep, you tell yourself. You’re not gonna fall asleep if you spend your time over analyzing everything he said to you today. You don’t look good when you’re tired. You’re seeing John tomorrow. Go to sleep.

It still takes you a while. You just can’t get John’s dumb adorable sympathetic face out of your mind. You hope he doesn’t feel bad. He didn’t do anything.

He was really nothing but nice to you. You’re a little surprised that he didn’t make any gay jokes or try to avoid you. Well, except after lunch when he started walking to his class, but you usually walk with him—was he avoiding you? Oh god, he was avoiding you.

Wait, god, no he wasn’t. Just go to sleep. Go the fuck to sleep.

Your thoughts circle around your head like this for a while before you finally sleep.

You wake up later than you wanted to. You wanted ample time to make yourself look hot. But, no, you accidently slept in until 11:30.

You stuff some poptarts in your face before going back upstairs to get ready. You take a shower, not hurrying, because if there’s one sacred part of your morning routine, it’s your shower. You turn the water nice and hot and stand under the stream for a few minutes before shampooing your hair and using body wash.

You guess your favorite shirt and black skinny jeans can’t let you down. You spend too much time trying to decide whether you want to wear your red Converse or your black Converse. You end up choosing red.

You spend maybe ten minutes in the bathroom, doing your hair and brushing your teeth. After that, you’re ready.

You grab your backpack and knock on Bro’s door.

“Ay! Dirk!”

He flings the door open and looks down at you.

“I’m going to John’s early.”

“Huh?”

“Movie night today, but I’m going early. You coming?”

He nods and disappears into his room again. There’s a minute or so of faint noises before he walks out with different clothes and neater hair.

“Let’s go.”

You follow him out to his silver convertible and hop into the passenger seat. It doesn’t take long for Bro to start a conversation.

“So what happened yesterday?”

“What?” You reply, looking at him. He’s looking straight ahead.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice you were acting funny.”

You look away. “I wasn’t acting funny.”

There’s a pause.

“Fine,” You sigh. You know he’ll never let this go if you don’t say anything. It’s hard to talk to Bro about these things because he’s always so nonchalant, like he doesn’t care. Just making conversation. “It was the talent show, and--”

“Shit,” He curses. “I forgot about that. Fuck.”

“Whatever.” You look out the window. “And I sang a love song, and said it was for my best friend. John.”

Bro hums and nods vaguely. You continue.

“And he told me he’s not gay. And then things were awkward.”

“Sucks.”

“Yeah.”

He puts a hand on your shoulder and squeezes it before letting his arm drop onto the middle compartment. It’s silent for the rest of the ride.

Mr. Egbert answers the door after Bro knocks.

“Hello, Mr. Strider. John is in his room, Dave.”

“Hey, Mr. E.” You say as you walk past him.

While jogging up the stairs, you hear Bro talk to Mr. Egbert.

“Jane is—” Mr. E starts.

“I’d rather hang out with you.” Bro says in a low voice. You hear Mr. E chuckle nervously.

You roll your eyes. On more than one occasion, Bro has told you that he wants to get into Mr. Egbert’s pants. You think it’s gross.

You open the door to John’s room to find him sitting on his bed with his DS.

“Ay,” you greet.

He puts the DS down. “Hey!” He adjusts his position so that there’s more room on the bed for you to sit.

You take a seat on his bed facing him and open your backpack. “You ready to get your writing on?”

“Hell yeah! Actually no, hold on.” He hops up, grabs his backpack, and sits back down. “Okay, now I’m ready.”

The two of you take out your papers and pens.

“So, are you almost done?” He asks, scooting back to sit against his headboard.

“Like, halfway.”

“Wow. I’ve got four paragraphs.”

“It’s a good thing you’ve got me to help you. Bow before my literary genius.”

He bows his head and his hair hangs off of his forehead, hiding his face. You push it back and make him raise his head. Your hand lingers on the back of his head before you let it drop. John looks at you with this bewildered face. You shove him back.

“Close your mouth, you look like a squirrel.”

His mouth snaps shut. “Dick.”

You shrug and look down at his hands.

“Let’s get this show on the road. What’ve you got so far?

“Okay,” He lifts his paper out in front of him to read. He reads it aloud. You smile. He’s a great story teller.

What he’s done is introduce the characters and setting. It’s a group of four college students who live in a nice apartment together. He also mildly goes over things that the little ghost does, the one he told you about last night.

“I’m not sure what’s gonna make the ghost mad.” John says when he’s done reading.

“Maybe someone ate his Doritos or something.”

“Ghosts don’t eat, Dummy.”

“Well, then I better eat a lot while I’m alive. Snacks?”

He rolls his eyes and gets off the bed. You follow him downstairs and to the kitchen. Bro is leaned up against the counter while Dad and Jane bake cupcakes together.

“Cupcakes?” You ask.

“Yeah! They’re for Movie Night.” Jane answers.

“Fuck yes.”

Jane turns to give you a stern look. “Watch your language, young man.”

“Whatever, Grandma.”

She rolls her eyes and continues stirring.

“Do we have any chips?” John requests.

“Don’t you want to save them for tonight?” Mr. Egbert counters.

“Dave’s hungry now.”

“Hold your damn horses, dude.” Bro kicks his leg in your direction. “We’re guests in this home.”

“You guys have been here, like, a thousand times. You’re practically family.” John defends.

You internally cringe at that. You definitely do not want John to see you as a family member.

He grabs a bag of chips from the cabinet and throws them to you.

“Okay, now you have to help me with my paper.”

“I’ll be happy to.”

You walk up the stairs and assume your seats on his bed, except now you’re lying next to him as he stays sitting up.

John taps his pencil against his paper absently. “What would make a ghost angry?”

“If the ghost’s murderer was near. You know, vengeful spirit.”

“Oh! That’s a great idea!” He smiles down at you. God, he’s adorable. “So, hm. This ghost died in this apartment… So…”

He pauses. You watch his concentrated face as he thinks. You guess he can’t think of anything because he groans.

You eat a couple chips and think. “It could be a Jesus freak.”

“Huh?”

“Someone who goes door to door trying to convert people.”

“Nah, that might offend someone.”

“A professor?”

“Like, at the college?”

“Yeah. Maybe the little ghostie used to go to that college before one of their professors killed them.”

His face goes from concentration to excitement. “Yes! That’s awesome! How are you so good at this?”

“It’s one of life’s unsolved mysteries.”

He gives you a fond smile before starting to write. After a while, you sit up and scoot back against the head board and do some writing yourself. It doesn’t take you long to finish.

“Hey,” You say to get John’s attention. “When you’re done, will you proofread mine?”

“Yeah, sure.”

Things are a lot less awkward than yesterday. In fact, it’s not very awkward at all. Or at least, _you_ don’t feel awkward. You keep eating the chips and wait for John to finish.

You read each other’s stories and edit them until all there is left to do is type them and print them out. At that point, it’s around 3 pm.

“Video games?” He suggests.

You nod and the two of you go downstairs to the living room. He hooks up his Playstation and puts in Tekken. You choose Nina and John chooses Yoshimitsu.

You’re pretty evenly matched. You win some and lose some, switching characters every few rounds before just staying on Random.

Rose and Roxy arrive early, at 4:34. Rose is surprised to see that you’re already there.

“I came over to help him write.” You explain.

She nods. When John looks away, she gives you a look.

Last night, she tried to get you to talk.

TT: Dave, I know you’re not feeling well.  
TT: Talk to me.

You ignored her, but she kept sending you messages and it got really annoying.

TT: You’ll feel better if you talk about it.  
TT: Just tell me what happened.  
TT: I won’t judge you, you know that.  
TT: I’m only trying to help.  
TT: I’m talking to John now.

And that’s what got you.

TG: whats he saying

TT: Ah, I knew you were on.

TG: rose

TT: I’m not at liberty to say.

TG: damn it  
TG: is he sad  
TG: just  
TG: tell him not to be sad

TT: I’m sure you know that it’s not that easy.  
TT: Are you ready to talk to me now?

TG: let me check  
TG: no  
TG: it seems like on the list of things i dont want to do  
TG: talk to rose about my problems is number one

TT: You probably heard me sigh after you sent that.

TG: yup  
TG: i heard it loud and clear  
TG: and my response is to give you a hot heaping pile of i dont give a shit

TT: Oh, Dave.  
TT: Don’t drown in your pool of self-loathing without me.

TG: haha how about you shut the fuck up

TT: I am only trying to help.

TG: whatever lalonde  
TG: bye

TT: Goodbye, Dave.

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

So you assume she’s still going to get on your case about it.

You glare at her from behind your shades and she looks away.

John begins switching the Playstation with the DVD Player. Roxy goes into the kitchen to talk to Bro and Jane.

“When will we start?” Rose asks, delicately falling onto a recliner.

“When everyone is here.” John answers readily.

You sit on the couch, your arm hanging over the back cushions. John sits just out of reach so you can’t put your arm around him like you usually do. That hurts a little, but you try to ignore it.

There’s a knock on the door soon. It’s Kanaya, and she brought skittles.

“Why skittles?” You ask.

“Kanaya enjoys the taste of the rainbow.” Rose smirks.

“Insert gay joke here.” Your brother deadpans, walking in from the kitchen, followed by Roxy and Jane.

“Where _is_ everybody? I’m ready to get my movie watching on!” Roxy leans against the recliner that Rose is sitting in.

“Technically they aren’t scheduled to be here for 20 minutes.” Rose replies.

“Damn.”

“While we wait, we can play a game! Like 20 Questions!” Jane beams, taking a seat on the floor.

“Or Truth or Dare.” Dirk adds.

“Never Have I Ever.” Roxy grins.

“What do you kiddies think?” Jane turns around to look at you, John, Kanaya, and Rose.

“I’m 16 years old.” You scoff.

She rolls her eyes. “Shucks, I’m sorry, Mister Big Man Strider.”

You just keep staring at her. That’s pretty much always how your conversations with her start. You’re never actually mad, of course.

“20 questions sounds fun.” Rose smiles.

The doorbell rings. By the time your head’s done turning to look in the direction of the sound, Dirk’s already at the door.

Jade bounces into the room, followed by her cousin, Jake.

“Hey guys!” She greets. You wave with two fingers.

“Fancy meeting you here.” Jake bows slightly in front of Bro.

They kind of have a thing. It’s not enough of a thing to stop your brother from shamelessly hitting on your crush’s dad, but there’s definitely something there. You think Dirk might legitimately like Jake, rather than just shallow sexual attraction.  _  
_

“John, you’re not gonna sit next to Dave? That’s a first.” Jade flops down on the couch right next to you.

It takes her a second to realize that she shouldn't have said that, at which point her face falls and she covers her mouth slightly with one hand. You let your arm drop off the cushions and onto her shoulders so she knows it’s alright. She smiles slightly at you.

It does hurt, though. But you don’t want her to feel bad about it. And you don’t want John feeling bad about it either, but when you glance at him, he’s blushing and is looking down at his hands in his lap. You internally sigh. You _really_ shouldn’t have even tried out for the talent show.

You’re a decent singer, you think. And it’s been too long since you’ve started crushing on your best friend. So you thought you ought to tell him, but how? The answer seemed obvious to you: Talent show.

One: It’s totally ironic. Two: It’s romantic. Three: You won’t have to look at John while you tell him. In fact, Four: You won’t even really have to tell him. You just say, “To my best friend” and sing one of your favorite songs. Simple enough.

When you heard _I Wanna Be Yours_ for the first time, you immediately thought of John. It’s kind of lame, but that’s happened one more than one occasion. You hearing a love song for the first time and thinking, yeah, this could totally apply to me and my heterosexual best bro.

So you broke the news to your friends, saying you might try out for the talent show. They loved the idea, and urged you to go through with it, so you did. But you were doubting yourself up until you walked out on stage. Thinking, maybe I’ll fake a panic attack or something and get out of it. And then, before you could decide, it was your turn. You almost didn’t say anything. If you just sang the stupid song, you could say it’s just a good song that you like singing, and you didn’t mean it to be about someone. But you addressed it to John.

And now John feels guilty and you feel hopeless.

Jake sits next to Jane.  Dirk sits next to him.

Jake starts, “What were you chaps up to, eh?”

“We were talking about what we could do while waiting for the others.” Jane answers politely.

“Who are we missing?”

“Karkat!” Jade answers quickly.

“I think it’s about time we get some snacks out here.” Bro suggests.

“John, help me grab the cupcakes.” Jane reaches out for someone to help her stand up.

John gets up, helps her, and walks into the kitchen.

“How are you doing?” Jade asks sweetly in a hushed tone.

You give her a small smile. “I’m fine.”

“You sure?” She gives you a pointed look.

“Yeah.”

Rose reaches over and puts a hand on your shoulder. “We know this must be hard. It’s a very common crisis, to like someone who—”

“Rose,” You say firmly. “Stop.”

She huffs and leans back into her chair.

“Did something happen, Mate?” Jake inquires, looking at you with concern.

“It’s nothing.”

“Aww, does Davey have a case of the blues?” Roxy coos, walking over and kneeling in front of you.

“Jesus Christ.” You mutter.

“How about we get ice cream after this, and you can tell me all about it. Just us girls.”

“I’m 16 years old.” You groan. “I can handle it. I don’t need ice cream to make me feel better. And I don’t need attention, either. Will you all just pretend you think I’m fine?”

Roxy makes a shocked face. “That’s it. We’re definitely going out after this.”

You sigh.

“I’ll drop it for now, but later, Mister, you’re gonna talk.”

You consider objecting, but Roxy glares at you and you sigh again. “Okay.”

She smiles and sits next to Jake.

You’ve known Roxy for as long as you can remember. She’s been friends with Dirk forever, since they were in middle school or something. Since before your parents died. If you were asked who raised you, first you’d say Bro, then you’d say Roxy.

Everyone’s still looking at you. Even Dirk, though it’s hard to tell.

“Roxy, it seems like you and I are the only ones out of the loop here.” Jake comments. He sounds mildly frustrated, like he thinks he deserves to know.

“You don’t need to know, English.” You assure him, trying not to sound too harsh. You just hate being the center of attention. No, not that. You don’t mind attention, you mind pity.

Soon, before the Egberts leave the kitchen, the topic shifts.

John and Jane each carry a place of cupcakes. They set them down on the coffee table and go back into the kitchen to get chips, popcorn, and a bowl for the skittles.

Casa de Egbert is the best place to have movie night. They are excellent hosts.

Jane insists that nobody has any cupcakes until Karkat and his older brother, Sollux, arrive.

You hop out of your seat when you hear the doorbell. When you open the door, you search Karkat for his bag of Rom Com DVDs. It looks like he doesn’t have it. Sollux walks past you to find Dirk.

“No terrible Rom Coms today?”

He glares at you. “Fuck you, I was trying to be nice. You’re not in the mood for romance, are you, Strider?”

You blink. “I’m never in the mood for your shitty movies.”

He grumbles and steps on your foot. You shove him lightly.

“Thanks, bro.” You whisper. His glare softens for a second before he turns toward the living room.

The two of you walk into the room.

“Finally!”  Roxy cheers.

Jake, Dirk, and Jane turn around to face the TV. Roxy sits next to Jane. Sollux sits next to Bro. Karkat sits on the open recliner.

John hops up. “What are we gonna watch first?”

Everyone shrugs, except Jake, who suggests, “Weekend at Bernies?”

“We watched that last time.” You deadpan.

“Yes, I know. But it’s a great film.”

“How about Lord of the Rings?” Roxy suggests.

Everyone agrees. John grins and points out that Liv Tyler is in those movies, and you reply “We know,” because he reminds you all  _every time._ You watch all three movies. Roxy insists that you should all watch The Hobbit real quick, but everyone else says it’s too late.

“Oh, but come on! It’s not that late, you losers.”

“I’m leaving.” Karkat stands up. Sollux gets up too.

“Me too, I’m afraid.” Kanaya follows after them.

“Okay, just us then.”

“Roxy, it’s past midnight.” John points out.

“Too late for ice cream.” You mutter.

Roxy pauses before groaning loudly. “Augh, fine. Dave, you’re coming with me. Dirk, take Rose home.”

“Alright.” Dirk walks towards the door.

“Bye, John.” Rose smiles before leaving. Jade and Jake leave shortly after.

You and Roxy hang back a second.

“Bye, dude.” You say.

John stands up and holds his arms out. “Bye, Dave!”

You hug him tightly. His arms loosely rest on your shoulders as your arms hold his waist.

“Okay,” You let him go. “See you Monday.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments are wondeful i love them <3<3 critique would be nice-


	3. Advice from the Girls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is SUPER short. Less than 1000 words! Sorry for that. Hope you like it!

Your name is Dave Strider and you’re about to get some of Roxy’s Cheer-up Ice cream.

It’s dark and cold outside, but that was to be expected. The LOTR movies are really long, and Roxy refused to let anyone leave early. You get into the passenger seat of Roxy’s pink Jeep Wrangler. It needs to be washed, you note.

Roxy looks at you for a second. “So, are you going to tell me now or in McDonald’s?”

“McDonald’s?”

“They sell ice cream and they’re open 24 hours.”

“Okay. Um. I’ll tell you at McDonald’s.”

“If you think you’re getting out of this, you’re wrong.”

“I know you too well.”

She pulls into the parking lot and hops out. You slowly follow her inside. No one else is there, other than the employees. Roxy orders two McFlurries, one M & M for her and one Oreo for you.

When you get the food, you find a table and sit.

“Okay, spill.”

“I sang John a love song for the talent show.”

“Aw! That’s so sweet!”

“Yeah. Anyway, he rejected me, and that’s why they were asking how I’m feeling.”

“Oh no!” She takes a bite of her McFlurry. “Poor John. Sounds like he missed a great opportunity. I mean, girls are lining down the block for a piece of Strider butt!”

You snort. “Girls, yeah. He’s not gay.”

“How do you know?”

“That was his reason for rejecting me.” You take a big bite, feeling sort of miserable.

“What an idiot.”

You roll your eyes. The two of you eat in silence for a few minutes.

“You’re too good for him.” Roxy says hesitantly, as if she’s not sure if it’ll help. It doesn’t.

“The thing is that _I’m not._ It’s not even about low self-esteem. John is just _better_ than me.”

Her face is full of concern. “Dave, stop that. You’re going to find someone awesome who likes you back and the two of you will live happily ever after.”

“How is that supposed to help me now?”

“It reminds you to keep your head up. You might be sad for a while but you’ll get out okay.”

“Well, yeah.”

She shakes her head and smiles. “If you ever have any problems, you can talk to me, alright? I’m not hard to find.”

“You sound like your sister.”

“Eww.” She smiles and throws the receipt at you.

You finish your McFlurries and head out. You get back to your house around 2 am. Bro is on the couch, watching some dumb reality TV show.

“Hey,” He greets.

“Hey.” You jog up to your room and take off your clothes. You do own pajamas. You just rarely use them.

It doesn’t take long for you to fall asleep.

\----

Your name is John Egbert and you wish your sister wasn’t so observant.

Or at least, she’s observant when it comes to you.

The two of you go to the kitchen to grab the cupcakes, but she doesn’t let you leave right away.

“Okay, what’s going on?” She crosses her arms over her chest.

“What? Is something wrong?” Your dad asks.

“Everything is fine.” You roll your eyes for added effect.

“John.” Jane says firmly.

You groan quietly. “Okay, _everything_ isn’t fine, but most things are, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

“John!”

You stare at her for a few seconds before deflating. “Dave just told me that he has a crush on me.”

They both look surprised. You sigh.

“So things are a little awkward. I mean, they’re not really. I just don’t want to cuddle with him anymore…” You look down at your feet. That’s not true, you still want to cuddle with Dave. You just don’t want to lead him on or anything.

“That’s it?”

“I… I feel guilty. I want Dave to be happy, and I know he’s not. But I can’t help him.”

Dad and Jane are both listening intently.

“When this happened to Kanaya, when she still had a crush on Vriska, I told Kanaya that she’s too good for Vriska. Which is true. Vriska’s my friend and all, but yeah. Anyway, in the end, Dave’s probably too good for me too. But saying that wouldn’t work, because it’s not an outside perspective, ya know? I could judge if Kanaya is better than Vriska, but I can’t exactly judge if I’m better than Dave, I guess? And either way, he’d probably just feel bad, and say that I’m wrong, or something. I don’t know what to do to make him feel better.”

“Just let him talk to Rose and them, I’m sure he’ll be fine. It’s not you responsibility to make him happy.”

“I know that, but I _want_ him to be happy.”

“He will be, just not right now. Be patient.”

You nod. You didn’t even know that you needed to talk to someone, but Jane really helped. Dad tells Jane that he’s proud of her for helping me. Then we bring out the cupcakes.

Movie night goes well, with little awkwardness. You hug Dave before he leaves.

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Jane begins slowly. “But you and Dave would make a cute couple.”

You throw a pillow at her. “Shut up.”

“Isn’t his birthday coming up?”

“Yeah! We’re doing a big birthday party at the bowling alley for him, Rose, and Jade next Saturday.”

“Ooh! Can I make cake?”

You roll your eyes. “Sure. Rose’s favorite kind is Red Velvet, Jade likes Vanilla and Dave likes chocolate.” You know this, because you talked about it with them sort of recently.

Jane practically squeals in excitement. “Yes! Three cakes!”

You laugh. The house will surely smell like frosting next week. God, you hate the smell of frosting.

You bought your friends’ birthday presents a while ago. You can’t wait to give them!

You consider watching another movie, but end up just going to bed.


	4. Birthday Party Threefold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didnt edit this chapter because ive got stuff to do today so sorry for any mistakes!!

Your name is Dave Strider and you’re on your way to your birthday party.

Not just yours. It’s also Rose and Jade’s. That’s always how it is, birthday party x3 combo.

On your actual birthday, Bro gave you these sick headphones and bright orange skinny jeans. One cool gift and one ironic/shitty gift. A Strider tradition.

Anyway, you pick up Rose and drive towards the bowling alley. She’s holding two purple boxes with cards tucked under each black bow.

“Happy birthday, Strider.” She greets.

“You too, Lalonde.”

When you get to the Bowling Alley, everyone is already there. You check the time and, sure enough, you’re late.

“Whoops,” You mutter, walking towards the table where your friends are sitting. You and Rose set your presents with the others.

“Happy birthday!” John smiles brightly.

You fall into the seat next to him and ruffle his hair. “Thanks, Bro.”

“Augh, quit it.”

“It’s my birthday, I can do whatever I want.”

“Your birthday was Wednesday.”

“It’s not my birthday till I get my damn presents.”

He laughs and pushes your hand away. “Does that mean we’re opening presents now?” He looks so excited. You wonder what he got you.

“Sure!” Jade chimes.

Kanaya stands and begins handing Jade her presents. Jade always goes first, because her birthday comes first. You’re second.

Jade gets a pumpkin recipe book and pumpkin seeds from John, seeds for different kinds of flowers and green eyeshadow from Rose, a $25 gift card to Guitar Center from Karkat, a blue frilly dress from Kanaya, and a black hoodie with a white design from you.

She takes a while reading cards and thanking everyone. Then, it’s your turn, and you grab the box wrapped in a familiar shade of blue first.

In it, there’s a vinyl record of one of your favorite bands, a blue beanie, and a folded piece of paper.

“Fuck. Yes.” You mutter. You see John smile out of the corner of your eye.

You pull out the piece of paper and start reading.

dear dave,

happy birthday!! 17 now. dang.  
hey! how many times have i written you one of these things? we’ve been friends for so long. i’m not nearly done with you yet, though, so don’t get your hopes up. you’re not getting rid of me.  
dave!! it seems like every year you get better and better. i know i spend 90% of our hang-out time teasing you, but really, you’re great. you’re a great best friend! what can i even say? i love you, dude.

~john

You read the last sentence more times than you need to. You realize that you’re just smiling down at the paper, and quickly force your lips to fall. You pull out the beanie and pull it on before looking at John.

“Thanks, bro. Love you too.”

He blushes and looks away, smiling. “You’re welcome.”

You get wicked pink-rimmed aviators from Jade, a notebook and a pack of drawing pens from Rose, a nice tie and crew socks from Kanaya, and fancy shampoo from Karkat.

You look the bottle over. “You think this is a joke but I’m going to use this.”

“You better. That was one expensive fucking joke.”

“Thanks, Karkles.”

He huffs and rolls his eyes.

Rose gets a knitting tutorial book and blue yarn from John, a nice purse from Jade, a huge romance novel from Karkat, lipstick from Kanaya, and a book of Urban Legends from you.

You all go through a circle of ‘thank you’s again before you start playing.

You’re okay at bowling. Karkat is shockingly good. John is hilariously bad.

Jade goes up first and rolls a strike. She turns around and does this dumb little dance before sitting down. Karkat goes after her, and gets a split.

“FUCK.”

“Keep your voice down or we’ll get kicked out.” Kanaya warns.

You smirk at the sight of an angry Karkat and a smug Jade.

You go up next and almost get a spare, missing one pin.

“Better luck next time.” Jade smirks.

John goes up and gets a gutter ball. Everyone exaggerates disappointment, and he flips you all off.

Kanaya does a little worse than you, and Rose gets a spare. The next rounds go similarly; Jade wins the first game, and you somehow pull off second place. After the first game ends, it’s time for cake.

“Jane made one for all of you, and wrote your names on them.” John explains, opening three white boxes.

You look at the cakes. Yours has pink frosting with black words—TO DAVE—written in cursive. There’s also a strip of rainbow going around the circumference.

“Hilarious.” You deadpan.

The others look over your shoulder into the box.

“Props to Jane.” Karkat mutters. You elbow him and he shoves you.

Rose actually laughs and Kanaya blushes lightly and giggles. Jade tries to keep it together for a moment before laughing so hard she has to sit down.

You’re just glaring at the cake when you hear John giggle. You turn to him, raising one eyebrow above your glasses. He’s blushing and obviously trying to stifle his laugh.

“Laughing is contagious, this is so unfunny, I’m going to have a stern talk with Jane later.” He says, trying to sound serious.

“Just tell her she wouldn’t get it even if I was straight.”

“But she’s got the same genetics as me?”

“Are you trying to hook me up with your sister?”

John really starts laughing then. You smirk and take your cake out of the box. You’re glad you can joke about your crush with John.

You cut a piece with a good amount of rainbow and another identical piece. You put them on separate plates and slide one to John.

“Here, see if this changes anything.”

He blushes again and giggles. “We’ll see.” He takes a plastic fork and takes a bite. He swallows and shakes his head. “I feel about the same.”

You shove his head playfully. “Salt on the wound, Egbutt.”

“Sorry!”

“It’s fine, dude.” You start eating your cake. “Her jokes may be lame, but your sister is a great baker.”

Rose takes her cake out of the box. It’s covered in white frosting with purple frosting around the edge of the top. It says, “TO ROSE” in black frosting.

“Oh, this is beautiful.” She comments before cutting into it.

Jade looks at her cake, but doesn’t take it out yet. You look, too. The frosting is dark green, with small light green flowers, the color of her eyes. In the same color, it reads “TO JADE.”

“Tell Jane I say the cakes look wonderful.” Kanaya smiles sweetly.

“Will do.” John grins. “Okay, Dave’s is chocolate, Rose’s is red velvet, and Jade’s is vanilla.”

You all start eating. You don’t finish it all, so Rose, Jade and you get to take your cakes home.

You bowl 2 more games, then walk over to a sports park nearby. You find a spot on the grass, away from most other people, and sit in a circle. You dare to put an arm around John, and he responds by moving closer and leaning on you. 

It occurs to you that you should be trying to get over John. You put that thought away, knowing that any effort you put in won’t help. You’ve been on this world long enough to know that you’ll get over John eventually.

“So… Spin the bottle, anyone?” Jade suggests. Surprisingly, she’s one for those cliché party games: Truth or Dare, Spin the Bottle, Never Have I Ever. She even likes 7 minutes in heaven.

The bottle rarely does what you want it to, but it does often enough that you tell Jade, “Sounds good to me.”

Rose takes a water bottle out her massive purse, now full of presents, and sets it in the middle. You’ve been carrying your presents, with the help of John. Karkat helps Jade, who only brought a small purse. Kanaya holds a couple presents, too.

“Me first!” Jade grins. It’s practically a rule that she starts everything on our birthday party threefold.

She spins and kisses Rose. We go around the circle, clockwise. Karkat kisses you, Kanaya kisses John, Rose kisses Karkat, John kisses Jade, and you kiss Jade.

After a few rounds, John’s spin lands on you. It won’t be the first time you kissed him while harboring your crush. It will be the first time since he found out.

He chuckles and turns towards you. You do the same. He’s blushing, so you put your cold hand on his cheek and give him a small smile, which he returns. One of his hands hovers by your side and the two of you lean in. The kiss is just like any other, but there’s more tension. Even though you’ve felt them many times, the softness of his lips still somehow surprises you. You take in the feeling, eyes closed like any other kiss, but you find yourself more lost than when you kiss the others. He pulls away and looks away quickly. You turn back towards the middle of the circle and hug him around the shoulders.

You spin and land on Kanaya.

You only kiss John one more time for the entire game. You kiss Jade at least 5 times. The bottle is just not on your side today.

\----

Your name is John Egbert and you are relieved.

You thought things might be awkward with Dave forever, but the awkwardness is already gone. I mean, it was a little awkward when you kissed, but that’s it. 

Everyone likes the gifts you gave them. If there was such a reward, you would win best gift-giver, every year. You put a lot of effort into choosing the right gift.

The sight of Dave in a blue beanie is almost laughable. He never wears blue, and he rarely wears hats. His hair sort of curves out at the bottom of the beanie. He looks best in red, he always tells you, but you think you like him in blue. Maybe you can get him to take his glasses off later.

You sit in the park until it’s way later than any of you told your guardians that you would be out. You decide you ought to get home and start walking to the Bowling Alley parking lot.

You stand with them for another few minutes, talking, until Rose says, “I really should get home.”

Everyone agrees, and you go through goodbyes and hugs and final “happy birthday!”s. Everyone turns to their own cars, but you follow after Dave and tug his sleeve.

He turns around and looks at you. His beanie is still on and he’s struggling to hold all of his presents.

“Sup?”

“Take your glasses off real quick.”

“Why?”

“So I can see your eyes with the beanie!”

He tosses his head slightly so you know he’s rolling his eyes. “So this is how you get the ladies to strip, huh?”

You laugh and take the presents out of one of his arms so he can use it. He looks around for a second before taking his shades off.

Your lips slowly grow into a big smile and he smiles a little back.

“Like what you see?”

“Blue’s a good color on you.”

“Are you flirting with me?”

You roll your eyes. “You wish.”

“Well, duh.” He smirks.

You stick your tongue out and pause for a second. You know everyone else has left, but you still look around to make sure none of your friends will hear you.

“Can I sleep over at your house tonight?”

“Whenever you want, Egbaby.” His smirk grows.

Whenever Dave jokes about his crush, it makes you all the more relieved. If he was still sad, he wouldn’t joke about it. He would make vague, snide comments until someone asked him what was wrong. That’s how he is. You’re sure he’s still sort of disappointed, of course he is. You’ve been in his place enough times to understand that it doesn’t go away that easy. And you still feel bad sometimes. But at least everything is Okay, even if it’s not Good.

You have to drive your own car to Dave’s place because otherwise it would just be in the Bowling Alley parking lot all night. You text your dad quickly before you start driving, letting him know that you’re staying at Dave’s house. You don’t wait for him to reply.

When you park, you check your phone. Dad texted you back, saying to have fun. You send him a smiley face and get out of the car.

When you and Dave walk inside, you hear the sound of a laugh track from the living room and assume that Bro is watching reruns or something.

The TV mutes. “Hey.” Bro calls after the door shuts. “It’s 10 pm.”

“So it is.” Dave answers, putting a finger to his mouth to tell you to _shh_.

“I thought you said you’d be back by 6.”

“You’re right, I did say that.”

“Dave, count to ten.”

“1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.” Dave counts in a bored voice.

“What do you notice about the numbers 6 and 10?”

“They are not the same numbers.”

“Nope.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine, I don’t care. But text me next time.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

“How was it?”

“Good.”

“What did John give you? His virginity?”

“Not yet.”

You elbow Dave, but you’re smiling.

“He got me a record and a blue beanie. And a card.”

“What did the card say?”

“ ‘Yo Dave, you’re so great, it’s crazy. You’re super hot too damn I’d get on that if I wasn’t such a manly heterosexual who is 100% into girls and no one else.’ ”

You step hard on his foot and he almost cringes.

“I know that he’s with you, by the way.”

“Whatever do you mean, Brother? It is I and I alone.”

“I raised you better than to be a huge dork, Dave.”

“Obviously you didn’t.”

Before you know it, Lil Cal, Dirk’s ungodly puppet, is being placed on your head and Dave is being pushed onto the ground. You don’t understand how Dirk moves so fast.

“Have fun with your date.” Bro calls, once again in the living room. “Set Cal on the stairs.”

You do as he says and Dave leads you to his room, not that you need it, you know exactly where his room is. You kick your shoes off and sit on his bed as he gets into his pajamas, red flannel pants and a gray tank top.

“Want to borrow sweats or something?” He asks.

“Nah, I’ll just sleep in my boxers. It’s hot tonight.”

“Only ‘cause you’re here.” He winks.

You roll your eyes. You heard that joke in middle school.

You get out of your shorts and set them on his dresser. He crawls into his bed with his back facing the wall. You take your glasses off and lie down facing him, your knees touching.

“Thanks again for the present.” He whispers.

“You’re welcome.” You smile.

You can’t really see him with the darkness and without your glasses, but you think he smiles back.


	5. The Winter Formal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what can I say, I like writing fluff.

Your name is John Egbert and you’re waiting for Winter Break.

The remaining weeks before winter break are uneventful. You get assigned a new project that you finish and turn in, you get homework, you hang out with your friends. It’s completely normal, save for all the excitement and the winter formal.

You’re so excited for winter break. You always love getting time off. Plus, every winter break, you and your friends have a sleepover from the 27th to New Year’s Day! It’s been a tradition since 8th grade, except we’ve added Karkat and Kanaya to the mix.

The Winter Formal is the Friday right before the break. During lunch that day, you talk about it.

“I got asked to the dance.” Jade grins.

“By who?”

“Tavros Nitram! I said yes.”

“Ah, he’s very sweet.” Kanaya comments.

“I was asked by Terezi.” Dave practically groans.

“I asked Terezi.” Karkat grumbles.

“Shit, sorry dude.”

“Whatever. Nepeta asked me.”

“Eridan asked me.” Kanaya chimes.

“He asked me too.” Rose chuckles.

No one asked you to the dance. You kind of expected Vriska too, but she didn’t. Dave didn’t either. Not that you’d say yes to either of them, it’s just that all of your friends were asked, so it’s a little disappointing. Jade’s the only one with a date though.

Rose told you she might ask Kanaya for a dance when you’re there. You hope she goes through with it, because they really make a nice pair.

“I guess you probably don’t wanna be my date, do you?” Dave says quietly into your ear.

“…No,” You don’t really know how to say that nicely. “But I’ll hang with you as a friend the whole time.”

“Duh.”

Lunch goes by and soon enough, school ends and you manage to get a ride from Vriska. You just don’t want to walk home right now. You promised you’d let her copy your math homework if she gives you a ride, so she agreed. As soon as you’re home, you start getting ready.

The Formal isn’t until 6. You start by taking a short shower and brushing your teeth, then you watch TV for about an hour before getting dressed in your blue undershirt, black waist coat, and nice khakis. You only have, like, 3 pairs of pants. You prefer shorts.

You wear old dress shoes that you’ve worn enough times for them to be easy to dance in. You try to tame your hair but of course it doesn’t go your way. You settle for a “stylishly-messy” look.

Your dad gets home and the two of your sit together in the living room as you wait for Dave to come pick you up.

“So, John, did you ask anyone to the dance?”

“No,” You take a sip of the tea your dad made you.

“Did anyone ask you?”

“Only Dave.”

“… Is that why he’s picking you up?”

“What? No, we’re just going as bros.”

“Brothers?”

You laugh. “No, Dad. Bro as in good friend.”

“I’m unfamiliar with that use of the term, but alright.”

“Yeah, that’s ‘cause you’re old.”

“I’m not that old.”

He smiles. You finish your tea and put the cup in the kitchen. Within a few minutes, there’s a knock at the door.

You open it to find Dave in a black button up shirt and dark jeans with the red tie he got for his birthday. He hands you a red rose.

“Milady.”

You take it and laugh. “This is _not_ a date.”

“A guy can dream.”

You shout goodbye to your dad and close the door. You link arms with Dave and walk to his truck. He opens one of the backseat doors and gestures for you to get in.

“I’m not sitting in the backseat, Loser.”

“So ungrateful.” He walks around the car and opens the passenger door. You get in, smiling at him. He’s such an idiot.

He gets behind the wheel and starts the car. “So what are you feeling? Kesha or Arctic Monkeys?”

“Arctic Monkeys. I still haven’t heard much of them.”

“The only album I have is AM, but you should look up their other albums.”

He turns the volume up. The rest of the ride is spent listening to the music. You see your friends in the parking lot when you arrive. Dave and you link arms again because he insists. Rose and Jade are there but Kanaya and Karkat have yet to arrive.

“Where’s your date?” Dave asks Jade.

“He’s going to be a little late. He’s having trouble getting into his clothes, apparently.”

“Okay, I’ll just ask. Is there something going on here?” Rose gestures toward you and Dave.

“No!” You answer, possibly too quickly. You feel Dave shrug.

“It sort of looks like something’s going on there!” Jade giggles.

You roll your eyes. You’ve been mistaken for Dave’s boyfriend plenty of times. And Rose’s, and Jade’s, and Kanaya’s… It’s not uncommon.

You’re sure half the school thinks you’re dating Dave. You really don’t care.

Tavros gets there next, and then Karkat and Kanaya arrive together. Tavros gives Jade a corsage. Kanaya ends up at Rose’s side like she so often does.

We get into the line where they’re going to check our tickets. It doesn’t take long for the dance to start and for us to get in.

We all dance around like idiots towards the back of the gym. Tavros looks a little out of place, but you can tell he’s enjoying himself. Dave stays close to you, and even tries to grind on you at one point, but you shove him off and call him gross. He laughs in response.

The DJ announces that it’s time for a few slow songs. Rose asks Kanaya to dance with her and they go off together. Dave holds his hand out for you to take.

“May I have this dance?”

“ _Dave,_ we are not on a date.”

“That doesn’t mean we can’t dance. Don’t think of it as a slow dance, think of it as a bro dance.”

You laugh. “Okay, but only for the pun.” You take his hand and he leads you more into the crowd.

He puts his free hand on your waist. You put yours on his shoulder. Your other hands hang in the air by your shoulders.

“I don’t really dance.” You tell him, trying to look down at your feet.

“We’ve been friends forever. I know that you’ve got two left feet. Just slowly step back and forth, alright? I’ll go easy on you.”

You’ve seen Dave dance with Rose, and they’re both _really_ good. It’s kind of embarrassing to be dancing with Dave. You step on his feet more than a few times before you start to get the hang of it.

“I’m gonna spin you, you ready?” Dave asks.

“Huh?”

“You know, I let go of your waist, you let go of my shoulder, I spin you out, you spin back in.”

“We… Can try?”

He chuckles and his hand drops from your waist. Your hand leaves his shoulder and he smiles at you before twirling you away from him, then twirling you back. You end up with your back pressed against Dave with his arms around your chest, holding one hand. You turn your head to look at Dave behind your shoulder. He’s smiling sweetly, and you think for a second that maybe dating Dave wouldn’t be so bad, but then it’s gone when he turns you around to assume your original position.

“See, that wasn’t so hard.” He grins.

“I never said it would be hard.”

“That’s what he said.”

You snort a laugh. “Wow, you’re so romantic.”

You dance with Dave until the slow songs are over, and then dance to one fast song alone with him before going back to your friends.

Jade and Tavros are sitting by the snack bar. Karkat started dancing with Terezi, apparently, and is still dancing with her. So, it’s just you, Dave, Rose, and Kanaya.

You four dance together again. At the next slow dance, Rose and Kanaya go off together. You and Dave walk outside to get away from the music for a minute. Dave leans against the wall and you stand in front of him. It’s late and the night air feels good on your skin.

“Offer’s still open, ya know.” Dave says, reaching out and touching your hair.

“Yeah, I know.” You absently play with his tie. “You’ll be a great boyfriend to someone one day.”

He sighs. “I don’t want _someone_.”

There’s the guilt again. “I’m sorry,”

“Hey, it’s fine.” He brushes your hair behind your ear. “This is one kick ass date we’re going on though.”

“This is _not_ a date.”

“What if I kissed you? Then would it be a date?”

“No.”

“Well can I kiss you anyway?”

“Daveeeee.”

“Okay, sorry.” He flashes a crooked smile and looks down--he looks so handsome you could cry. Out of envy, not because you like him or anything.

“You’re handsome.” You say because you can’t think of anything else.

“You’re hot.”

You blush. “You’re the only one who thinks so.”

“I’m the only one you need.”

You pause. “You’re really flirty today.”

He shrugs.

You lean against the wall next to him. “You know, you could have almost any girl you want, probably.”

“‘any girl I want’ equates to about no one.”

You rest your head against his arm. “I love you, bro.”

“Love you too.”

Karkat walks out of the building and stands in front of you two.

“What are you doing out here?” He asks gruffly, hunching his shoulders to help him stay warm.

“It’s loud in there.” You answer.

“How’s it going with Terezi?” Dave asks.

“It’s going okay. We danced for a while but she just left to hang out with Aradia.”

“Ah.”

“How’s it going with John?”

“I am _right here,_ ” You state.

“Eh, not so great.” Dave goes on, ignoring you.

“Sucks.”

You roll your eyes and push off of the wall. “Let’s go back in, I wanna dance.”

All three of you go back inside and quickly find your friends. You all hover at the back of the gym, standing in a circle, swaying your hips and shoulders aimlessly to the music. You try talking over the music, which gives Jade the idea to play Telephone. You play for a while, getting the most hilarious results. You dance fully to the last few songs, and then the DJ announces that the last two songs will be slow ones. Dave hugs you around the waist from behind and pulls you into the crowd as you laugh.

“Really?” You ask once he lets you turn around and look at him.

“Absolutely.”

You shrug and throw your arms around Dave’s shoulders. His hands paw at your waist for a moment before wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into him. You lean back, laughing, and he leans with you. You half expect him to kiss you, but he doesn’t.

The two of you don’t even dance, you just stand pressed close to each other, whispering and laughing into each other’s ear.

You realize that you like the feeling of Dave, and the sound of Dave’s smooth voice and low laugh.

Maybe half way through the first song, Dave pulls away and grabs your hand. He takes you outside.

“I wasn’t feeling that song.” He explains.

You laugh. “It’s just an average slow song.”

“Sure, but I like my slow songs above average.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Uh huh.” He reaches out and grabs your waist. He pulls you sharply into him and you gasp amid laughs. You delicately wrap your arms around his neck. He rests his head on your shoulder and sings that song he sang for the talent show quietly into your ear, slowly stepping in a circle like a dance.’

You let him sing for a minute and you find yourself forgetting everything. You forget that your feet are moving but they keep rhythmically stepping with Dave’s. You forget that your hands exist as they tangle into Dave’s hair idly. You forget that you’re pressed against your best friend as he serenades you quietly. You forget that you’re right outside of your school gym, mere footsteps away from hundreds of students. You lose yourself in Dave’s voice and you swear one day he will make a wonderful father, singing his children lullabies to help them fall asleep.

You forget to tell Dave to stop when he starts laying kisses on your ear and neck.

But you remember as the students start piling out of the gym, and your eyes fly open and your hands freeze in Dave’s hair. You pull your hands away and gently tear yourself away from Dave’s arms. He looks somewhat surprised and disappointed. You smile at him nervously.

“Um. We should find our friends.”

“Yeah,” He agrees, breathless.

You stand next to Dave, looking through the sea of teenagers. Rose finds you first and leads the others to you.

“Dinner?” She suggests.

You decide to go to Chili’s. You split up to get into your cars. Dave opens the door to the passenger seat for you.

The car ride over is awkward. You consider apologizing, but what for? Either way, Dave beats you to it.

“Sorry.” He says quickly. “I didn’t mean to… to make you uncomfortable. I don’t know. Sorry.”

“No! It’s fine. You didn’t.”

“Oh. Well, okay.”

You laugh. “I could’ve fallen asleep on your shoulder.”

“My shoulder’s always open if you’re ever getting sleepy.”

“Next time we have a sleepover, sing me to sleep.”

“Wait till the 27th.”

 You don’t know if you’ll see your friends at all before the 27th. You usually try to spend that time with family before you go and spend 6 days with your friends.

Dinner is fun. The sleepover is going to be at Karkat’s house this year. You discuss the details. Rose announces that she’ll be spending time in New York, so she won’t be able to hang out before the sleepover. Jade says that she’s going “adventuring” with her cousin and grandpa.

You are SO excited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk but you should probably leave some nice comments??? up to you??? but do it  
> <3<3


	6. Sleep over!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is really short, I know. Sorry yo but i might post the next one early bc its sort of short too-

Your name is Dave Strider and you’re on winter break.

You get your Christmas shopping done quickly. You get your homework done slowly. But you finish it on the 23rd, and then you can relax.

Well, sort of. You’re still a little worked up over what happened at the Winter Formal.

It was all together a weird night, but a good night. You were acting like it was a date, and John was going along with it for the most part. You knew it wasn’t real, but you let yourself pretend it was, even through his insistence that it wasn’t a date. But he danced with you and let you hold his hand and touch his waist and hair and play with the fabric of his dress shirt.

He really looked good in that dress shirt and vest.

It was the final slow dance when you took him outside and held him close to you, away from the other students, and sang to him. He seemed to melt into your touch. The night air was cool but he was warm and soft and alive. You felt his breath on your skin and his fingers in your hair. And you guess you got too comfortable, because without thinking, you pressed your lips to the skin of his earlobe.  He didn’t say anything, so you kissed his neck.

You kept kissing him gently until the dance ended and you could hear the chatter of a hundred sweaty teens cut through the quiet atmosphere you were encased in a second before. That’s when you felt John’s hands stop moving and you felt him tense. He pushed you away, and you can tell that he meant to be gentle but it hurt you more than you really understand. He smiled sheepishly at you and you softened.

“Um. We should find our friends.”

And then it was awkward, and you’re certain the awkwardness will fade but you still can’t stop thinking about what happened.

Why didn’t he push you away the first time you kissed him? You can’t find an answer that satisfies you. You try to keep your mind off of it.

You talk to your friends on Pesterchum a lot over the break, but you don’t see anyone until the 27th. Christmas comes and you go through your traditions with your brother. He wakes you buy dropping a sack of presents on your bed and putting a Santa hat on your face. Then you and he have a snowball fight on the roof. Then Christmas breakfast: Froot Loops, usually.

You open presents after breakfast. You get some awesome stuff, and Bro seems happy with his presents. He merely gives you a thumbs up in appreciation. The rest of the day is spent eating Christmas cookies, candy canes, and the occasional meal while mocking Christmas movies on TV.

The 26th crawls by slowly. You pack a duffel bag with clothes and presents to finish getting ready for the sleepover.

You show up at Karkat’s house early the next day. His dad, Kankri, lets you in. You pass Sollux, who’s playing video games in the living room.

“Thup?” he greets with his heavy lisp.

“Hey,”

Then it’s up to Karkat’s room to surprise him.

You poke your fingers under his door a few times to see if he notices. You guess he doesn’t. You start tapping on his door with your fingertips. You can hear a pause in whatever he’s working on, but then he continues. You knock quietly, getting progressively louder.

He opens the door with a bored look on his face. “Damn it--Why cant you knock like a fucking normal person??”

“I’m not a normal person.”

“Yeah. You’re early.”

“Yup.” You shake the duffel bag in your hand. “Where can I put this?”

Karkat leads you to the guest room and you set the bag down. You and him waste time playing video games in his room until Rose arrives with Kanaya. Next comes Jade and John.

Pretty soon after Jade and John get here, you exchange gifts. Everyone’s happy with their presents.

After that, you talk about what you did on Christmas with your families. Rose talks about New York and Jade talks about her traveling. Then it’s video games, pizza, and soda. Sollux crashes to play video games with you all.

Half of you sleep in Karkat’s room and the other half sleeps in the guest room. You’re with Rose and John.

The bed is big enough for the three of you. John sleeps in the middle and you all cuddle close together under the blankets to escape the cold air. John lays on his side facing Rose. You wrap one arm around his waist with the other under his head. Rose lays on her side, her hand on your arm, facing both of you. You talk in hushed voices until you all fall asleep.

The next day, you go see a movie, wrapped in jackets and scarfs and mittens. It’s a horror movie, which means that John will be squeezing your hand and hiding his face in your shoulder. He always does that, and then he’ll insist that he wasn’t scared. He’s _such_ a dork.

The movie sort of sucked. You all go get coffee and then go back to Karkat’s house.

The rest of the sleepover includes lazy days, video games, and the occasional trip outside. You always have a party on New Year’s Eve. You invite your siblings and other friends from school over to wherever the sleepover is being hosted. You put on the Countdown in Times Square on mute and put on good music, until about 3 minutes to midnight. Then we turn the volume up and everyone counts down from 10, cheering when they reach 0.

You discuss who to invite and decide on Terezi, Tavros, Vriska, Nepeta (and she’ll probably bring Equius), Aradia, and Calliope. We’ll tell them they can bring people. Of course, our siblings (and Jake) will come too. That should be enough people to have a legitimate party but not too much to where you want to leave early.

Kankri doesn’t like having parties at his house, but he relents. He does print out a list of rules and tapes them like fliers all over the house. You doubt anyone will follow them all.

Your New Year’s Eve parties are awesome. It’s one of your favorite holidays, just for the party. A lot of people from school know of the party, and most of them want to be invited one year, to see what they’re like. Those people are really missing out. Sucks for them.

Anyway, it’s December 30th and you’re lying in bed with all of your closest friends. You always sleep in the same bedroom on the night before New Year’s Eve. You don’t know how this tradition started. You think it was a particularly cold night so you huddled together to stay warm, and it stuck or something.

The guest room bed is big enough to fit everyone, but not easily. You don’t all fit with your heads by the headboard. You’re tangled up together, laying on limbs and stomachs, but somehow, you’re all comfortable. You’ve got your head on Rose’s stomach as she lays parallel to the headboard with Kanaya right next to her. John’s on his side snuggled close to you, already asleep, his head rested on your arm. Jade’s on your other side, on her back. Karkat lays in between Jade’s legs. Her left leg is crossed over your legs.

It isn’t long before the hushed voices of your friends are beat by soft rhythmic breathing or quiet snores. You’re the last to fall asleep, you think.

You dream of something strikingly ordinary. You dream of your friends, hanging out as adults, all of you, together still beyond high school. If any of your dreams are to come true, you hope it’s that one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the human emotion called Friendship truly is incredible.


	7. New Year's Eve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I decided to post this early.
> 
> angstangstangst

Your name is John Egbert and you love this holiday.

When you wake up, it takes you a moment to remember why the bed is so crowded. It’s New Year’s Eve!

You’ve always loved New Year’s Eve, even before your friend's traditions started. The idea of new beginings always appealed to you. Even if it’s just a symbol, it always motivated you to change your life and the lives around you for the better!

And then the tradition started in 8th grade. You had a sleepover on the 27th, and somehow, every night, you convinced your guardians to let you stay longer. It helped that your families all know each other well. You might as well be one huge family.

Then you met Karkat and Kanaya in high school, and they became close to you and your friends by winter break. So when we decided to have another long sleepover, we invited them. That year, we also added a New Year’s Eve party for your not-quite-close friends.

Now, it’s your junior year, and it already seems like you’ve been having the sleepover and party every year since you can remember.

You don’t think any of your friends are awake. You and Kanaya are the only one who aren’t being used as a pillow. You take this as an opportunity for a prank.

As gently as you possibly can, you crawl off of the bed and stand, looking at everyone, wondering what prank would be most suitable.

You consider the classic bucket full of water on the door, but you don’t think you’ll be able to get the bucket up there without waking them up. Maybe confetti or something on the ceiling fan? No, why would they turn the fan on? It’s super cold. And where would you even get feathers? You could just choose someone to tickle. Or play annoying music really loudly.

While you’re thinking, Dave’s eyes flitter open. He looks where you should be laying. His eyebrows knit slightly, and you giggle. What an idiot!

His eyes find you and he smiles slightly. “Sup?”

“I was _going_ to prank you guys. But I can’t think of anything.”

“The almighty John Egbert couldn’t think of a prank?”

“You got me.”

“Wow.”

He looks at Jade and tentatively pokes her stomach. She sort of moves a little but doesn’t open her eyes. He pokes her again for longer, and her eyes fly open.

“Daveee! I’m _trying_ to sleep! We’re going to stay up until, like, 3 am tonight, probably.”

“It’s already 12 pm.” You tell her after checking a small alarm clock on a night stand.

“Oh! Well, in that case.” She takes a deep breath and squeals loudly, “HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVE!”

There’s a chorus of groans and grumbles from everyone else. Eventually, everyone gets up and you separate to get dressed.

You eat lunch, watch a movie, then it’s time to get ready for the party. Karkat sets up speakers for music, with help from Dave and Sollux. That takes a while and Karkat gets frustrated. Rose makes him tea to calm him down. You all help out, putting out snacks and putting away valuables.

We barely finish getting ready by the time the first guest, Terezi, shows up. Karkat puts a dance playlist on shuffle. Terezi starts talking to Dave almost immediately, and that’s not jealousy that you feel, no way. What you just felt was empathy for Karkat, obviously. Probably?

It doesn’t take long at all for everyone to get there. You dance like idiots with Jade for a while before crashing Rose and Kanaya’s conversation to make them dance with you. Vriska steals you for a while. Then you hang with Jane for a while. You pretty much mingle around aimlessly for 4 hours until the countdown starts. You’re having a ton of fun!

\----

Your name is Dave Strider and, yes, you love New Year’s Eve.

Around 11 pm, you and Bro perform The Robot, and, of course, the crowd clears into a circle. The people cheer and some throw in singles as if they’re at a strip club. After that, Roxy, dragging Rose behind her, joins you and Bro in the middle and you dance like fucking deities. When other people start going into the middle, you leave and meet up with John. The two of you dance until the countdown.

Karkat shuts off the music and turns up the volume on the TV at 11:47. Everyone crowds around, laughing and talking, until a minute to midnight, when all is silent other than people shouting numbers: _60! 59! 58!_

You don’t start counting until it gets down to _15._ You hear John's voice next to you, and you look at him to see him smiling. You smile, and he gazes at you for a second and grins wider. You look back to the TV.

_5! 4! 3!_

John grabs the fabric of your shirt and makes you look at him. He’s not counting, so you stop too. At midnight, he pulls you into a rough kiss, and you’re shocked. It takes you a second to relax and put your hands on his waist, pull him close, and enjoy the kiss. He kisses you again, and again, as the people around you cheer on the New Year. You're beside yourself with joy, or, relief maybe. All you can think is, “What took him so long?”

Then, all of a sudden, he’s out of your arms. You open your eyes to see him staring at you with a horrified expression. You stare back, confused.

“I… I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

You stare a second more before taking a small step towards him. He almost immediately turns around and runs for the door.

It takes you a moment to decide that you should follow him. You find him sitting with his arms around his knees and head pressed against his arms.

You slowly put a hand on his arm. He looks up sharply, looks you in the eye past your sunglasses, and says, “I don’t _like_ you.”

You stare at him, gaping, shocked. He looks so guilty and miserable.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I—”

You stand up quickly and turn away without another word. As you walk towards the house, he calls out once again, “Dave, I’m sorry!” His voice cracks. You don’t care.

You don’t know how you feel, you just sort of feel like you need to leave. You throw all of your clothes and presents into your duffel bag and walk back out the door without saying goodbye to Rose or Jade or anyone. You’re not sure if you can speak.

As you pass John, you look at him out of the corner of your eye. He’s staring at you with wide, red eyes as if he’s crying. You can’t find it in you to feel bad for him.

You get into your truck and drive towards your house. Your eyes start to burn but you ignore it. You don’t know why. No one is with you, no one will see you if you cry, but you still tell yourself that you shouldn’t. You guess you want to believe you’re stronger than that.

Your efforts are in vain. You end up just hurrying home because your vision is getting blurry with tears.

When you get home, it’s like everything is spinning. Hot tears roll down your cheeks. It’s an unfamiliar feeling. It’s been too long since you’ve cried.

Bro is still at the party, so you’re alone. You try again to stop crying, but you end up just throwing yourself onto your bed and sobbing into a pillow.

It takes ten minutes at least for you to calm down and begin thinking clearly.

Why are you crying?

Because John kissed you.

No, that sounds like a good thing.

You’re crying because John kissed you and then ran away from you. And then he looked you in the eye and told you he didn’t like you.

You don’t bother texting Rose or anyone that you left. If they don’t find out on their own, John will tell them. They’ll find him, and he’ll be crying, and he’ll tell them his side of the story. They’ll feel bad for him, and help him, and he’ll feel better while you continue feeling like the butt of a cigarette that was just flicked to the ground and stomped on.

Soon, you can’t feel the sadness anymore. All you feel is anger.

How dare he. How dare he kiss you and run away. How dare he look you in the eyes afterward. How dare he say that to you. How dare he cry as if he was the one who got hurt. How dare he make you feel like this. How dare he make you love him and then pull this shit. How dare he make you want to never see him again. How dare he make you want to never see your friends again.

Why would he do this? You didn’t ask him to kiss you at midnight, but he did. Why couldn’t he have just continued being just your best friend? Why did he have to fuck everything up and leave you feeling shittier than you did before?

You start to cry again, feeling weak and naïve and horrible. You hear your phone vibrate but you ignore it. You don’t know if you’ll respond in the morning.

You’re embarrassed that John made you cry. You’re embarrassed that you fell for his fucking practical joke of kissing the guy who likes him.

Eventually, you cry yourself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... sorry. I promise there's a happy ending.
> 
> ok ok keep in mind this is the first time I've ever written angst alright- so im not really sure if its good or not?? you shouldddd critique it in the comments!! <3


	8. “I don’t know what to say to you.”

Your name is John Egbert and you don’t know what to do.

You know what you did. You kissed Dave and then rejected him all over again, harsher this time.

You’re not exactly sure why you did it. You think it must have been a combination of his smile and the atmosphere and the New Year...

You are positive that you shouldn’t have done it.

You sat outside and cried until people started leaving, and Jade came out to look for you. She helped you up and hugged you.

“Do you know where Dave is?” She asked into your ear.

“He left,” You mutter, managing not to choke.

She pulls away enough to look at you. She looks confused.

“Okay, let’s go inside.”

She wrapped an arm around your shoulders and led you past the few people still leaving and into the living room where the rest of your friends were. They immediately looked worried.

You sat between Rose and Jade. Kanaya made you tea and you felt much better after drinking it. You explained to them what happened, trying not to cry again. They exchanged looks with each other and told you not to worry about it yet. You all slept in the living room. You think Rose texted Dave, but you’re not sure.

In the morning, the first thing you do is text Dave.

ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

EB: hey dave!  
EB: can i get an estimate on how mad at me you are?  
EB: is this something i can fix by bringing you chinese food?  
EB: no?  
EB: what do i have to do?  
EB: i’m sorry.  
EB: i really am.

He doesn’t respond. You text him again around noon.

EB: the party was a lot of fun last night.  
EB: i hope i didn’t ruin it for you.  
EB: i probably did…  
EB: i  
EB: i don’t know what to say.  
EB: i fucked up.  
EB: what i did was not okay.  
EB: if i could take it back, i would…  
EB: just because i hurt you.  
EB: that’s like my least favorite thing to do.  
EB: hurting you, i mean.

Nothing. You don’t text him again that day.

You text him a couple days later.

EB: what if i wrote you a rap and performed in front of everyone?  
EB: well.  
EB: we both know i couldn’t write a decent rap if my life depended on it.  
EB: but if i made some public gesture would you talk to me again?  
EB: i’m an asshole.  
EB: i don’t deserve you.  
EB: i never did.  
EB: please be my friend anyway.

You send him a single text on the Wednesday before break ends.

EB: wanna hang out tonight? i miss you.

And once more the Friday before break ends.

EB: i just want to say that  
EB: um  
EB: if you never want to talk to me again, that’s okay.  
EB: but please just…  
EB: just try to be happy.  
EB: i want you to be happy more than i want me to be happy.  
EB: so……..  
EB: i won’t pester you anymore.   
EB: but i still hope we can be friends again.  
EB: and…  
EB: i love you.  
EB: a lot.  
EB: you’re still my best friend.  
EB: i’m having trouble imagining a life where we aren’t friends.  
EB: but if that’s what you want…  
EB: shit.  
EB: please forgive me.  
EB: i’ve cried almost every night since new year’s.  
TG: i dont care

turntechGodhead [TG] blocked ectoBiologist [EB]

You stare at your computer screen. Dave blocked you. Dave wants nothing to do with you.

You don’t know what to do.

What you do is you cry again. Useless. What good do tears do? All you want is Dave and he never cries. Your other friends have tried to contact you, but you rarely replied. You just want to lay in your bed until you have to go to school. Then you want to run up to Dave and hug him.

You wonder if he’ll sit with your friends. You hope so. He deserves them more than you do. If his problem is with you, you’ll just start eating elsewhere. That’s fair, right? You did something wrong, so you lose your friends.

You’re not sure if you could go through with that. You’re too selfish.

You succeed in staying in your bed until school. You have to get up to go to the bathroom, but Jane brings you food. You told her what happened when you got home from Karkat’s house. She said that Dave will come around. You told her that he’s stubborn. She said, “You think stubborn people are that willing to cut their best friend out of their life?”

You find that no one’s advice helps much.

Monday comes around. You walk to school, because you don’t feel like asking any of your friends for a ride. You spend the walk thinking about what you’ll say to Dave if you find him and he’s willing to talk to you. You argue with yourself about whether you should look for him. You decide you will.

Your friends find you first. They’re concerned because you haven’t been answering their texts. You tell them you haven’t felt like talking to anyone. They say okay, but they still look worried. You take your leave to go find Dave.

You spot the back of his head, his soft platinum blond hair. You see his messenger bag hanging lazily off of his shoulder. He’s talking to Terezi, who’s facing you.

She makes eye contact with you and nods ever so slightly. You wave and begin walking towards them.

Terezi shakes her head at you and grabs Dave’s arm, leading him away. You stop abruptly. You guess he told her what happened, or at least that he’s mad at you. Your stomach sinks and your ribs ache. You take a deep breath and resolve to find your other friends. The bell for first period rings before you can, though.

You get through your first two periods without any issues. You find your friends during break and try to tell them what happened in the morning without crying. You manage, and they say it’ll fade.

“You and Dave have been friends too long for him to leave you with no closure.” Kanaya coos. She slips her hand into yours and squeezes it. “I’ve talked to him once since New Year’s. He didn’t say much.”

“I had a lengthy conversation with him.” Rose states. “He told me he wouldn’t be sitting with us today. I got him to talk. He told me not to tell you want he said… But I do believe he will be back. And I’ll try to talk him into it. I do miss him.”

You frown. You’ve been making this all about you. You’re not the only one who lost a friend.

“We’ve been friends with Dave since 3rd grade!” Jade reminds you. “There’s no way he would just stop seeing us. He just needs time. He talked to me, too.”

“And me.” Karkat chimes.

“So it’s just me that he’s ignoring. That’s good.” You look down at your hands. “If I just hang out with someone else for a while he could hang out with you guys.”

“No, that won’t solve anything! Well, it will, but not what needs to be solved. Time will heal!” Jade smiles sweetly.

You love your friends so much. They put effort into making _you_ feel better, even though they obviously miss him too, and _you_ are the reason any of this is happening. You make sure to thank them a lot.

Terezi is in your 3rd period.

You notice her looking at you a couple times during class. You scribble “please tell him i’m sorry.” On a piece of paper and hold it up, facing her, when the teacher isn’t looking.

She writes something down and holds the paper up. “H3 4LR34DY KNOWS”

You have trouble reading the words at first, what with her dumb writing quirk. The teacher sees you and tells you to get back to work, so you don’t respond to Terezi.

At lunch, you and your friends talk about normal things. You see Dave walk by your table. You have a feeling he’s looking at you out of the corner of his eyes.

“Dave!” You shout, grinning at him and waving with both hands.

He flips you off and keeps walking.

You stare at the empty space where he was standing for a second before all of a sudden you’re crying. You put your head down and shake with tears. Your friends hug you and comfort you but you don’t stop crying until it’s time for fifth period. You're such a crybaby.

Your fifth period class is right next to Dave’s class.

You hurry to get there before him and wait by the door of his classroom.

“Very funny, Egbert.” He deadpans as he walks up to the door. He stops in front of you and crosses his arms over his chest. “Now go away.”

“Hey Dave! You ready to forgive me yet?”

He sighs irritably. “Looks like you’ve been crying. What's wrong?”

You gape for a second. You feel him shooting daggers your way. “Dave, really, I’m so sorry. I don’t have an excuse, I’m just an asshole.”

“Why would I want to be friends with an asshole?”

“Gay guys like assholes don’t they?” You smile a little to show that you’re joking.

He’s having none of it. “Apparently.”

“Okay, well, I’m not going to lose you without a fight.”                             

He raises his eyebrows. “What happened to ‘I don’t like you?’”

You frown. “That’s not what I meant.”

He pauses. “I don’t know what to say to you.”

“Say that you forgive me.”

“That would be a lie.”

The bell rings and he moves past you into his classroom. You hurry into your own, hoping you can get away without a tardy slip.

You try to focus on your work, but you can’t stop asking yourself, _“What are you going to do?”_

And you can’t think of an answer no matter how hard you try. You’ll have to trust your friends that he just needs space.

You see Dave after school, standing with this guy named Gamzee. Gamzee seems to be rapping, and Dave’s watching with a poker face. You know that Dave likes listening to Gamzee rap because he thinks it’s funny.

You walk up behind Gamzee but far enough that he wouldn’t notice you. Dave notices you though. He raises an eyebrow.

You do your best silent clown impression, pinching your nose and fake juggling. You fake drop a pin on your toe and jump around like an idiot as if you hurt yourself. When you look at Dave again, both of his eyebrows are raised and he’s smirking the slightest bit.

You put your hands up to form a heart and then point at Dave. He puts a hand up to stop Gamzee.

“What’s the motherfuck wrong my brother?” Gamzee asks.

“Good job, man, you’ve gotten better.” Dave says nonchalantly. “Gotta go.”

He walks past Gamzee and stops in front of you. You grin up at him.

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

“But I got you to talk to me!”

“Yeah, but only because I want to make it clear that, uh, I’m not ready to hang out with you yet.”

You stare at him, eyebrows knit. He looks down at you.

The way he talks makes it seem like he knows what he wants to say, but doesn’t know how to say it. Or that he practiced what he would say but now the words aren’t flowing as easily as they did when they went through his head.

“John, I wish I could just… forget what happened, but I can’t. Uh, I don’t know what your plan was that night, but what you did… really hurt me. I can’t act like nothing happened, because something _did_ happen, and it sucked. That was a dick move, dude.”

“I know it was, I didn’t want to hurt you, I just… I wanted to kiss you, I guess, I don’t know, and I didn’t think about…. _Why_ or what was going to happen… I’m really sorry.”

“I know you are, man. I want to forgive you…” He seems choked up so he takes a deep breath and looks at the sky to compose himself. “You’re still my best friend, I just, I can’t even believe that you did that.”

A teacher walks up to us and tells us we have to leave campus, so we walk out of the gate. You stop outside and face each other.

You stare at each other for a couple seconds before you wrap your arms around his waist and force him into a hug. You tilt your head so that your nose is right above his shoulder. He hesitantly hugs you back.

“John, I _really_ like you.”

You nod.

“So when you kissed me… I thought it was real, and then it wasn’t, and it ruined me, you know?”

“Yeah.”

“I hate sounding so weak.” He chuckles inwardly.

“You don’t sound weak.”

He brushes a hand through your hair once before pulling away.

“Yeah, you have to stop getting close to me and saying nice things in hushed tones. I can’t talk to you.”

“Well, bye. Idiot.” You grin at him.

He smiles just barely back. “Got a ride home?”

“No.”

“Come on, I’ll drive you.”

“You don’t have to!”

“No, it’s fine. But then we can’t talk.”

“Okay! Thanks!”

You follow him to his truck. You’re so happy that Dave is talking to you!! Even if all he’s saying is that he doesn’t want to talk to you. He’s pretty much saying that you can be best friends again but not yet! You’re willing to wait.

On the way to your house, Dave asks, “If you don’t like me, why did you want to kiss me?”

“I don’t really know. I’ve thought a lot about that, and I can’t really, um, come up with anything…”

“Have you considered that _maybe you like me?_ ”

“Yes I’ve considered it…”

“Okay. Thought I’d give it a shot.”

The car ride is quiet but not too awkward. When he parks the car in front of your house, you linger.

“I’m going to miss you.” You tell him.

He curls his lips in and rolls them out. Then he frowns. “I’ll miss you too.”

You thank him for the ride and leave. He waits until you get inside before he drives away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :/:/:/:/


	9. TG: jade pls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posting this early bc i dont think i'll be able to tomorrow~

Your name is Dave Strider and you thought you were avoiding John Egbert.

It’s harder than you originally anticipated.

You miss him. You miss him a lot.

Reading all of his dumb texts ruined you. It made you feel guilty for ignoring him, and then you’d feel angry at yourself for feeling guilty, so you blocked him. At school, you hung out with Terezi. You told her what happened, and she promised to help keep your mind off of John. And she did a good job.

But John… He’s stubborn and oblivious. He doesn’t really consider how other people feel. It’s infuriating.

So he showed up in front of you 5th period class and made you talk to him. Then, after school, he made a fool of himself to get your attention. What’s worse is that it worked, and you talked to him and you gave him a ride home. YOU are the fool. It is you.

You drive off from his house. You grip the steering wheel with both hands and squeeze, letting out a frustrated sigh afterward. _Why did you talk to him??_

You had this plan. You were going to avoid and ignore him for a week, and then rejoin your group of friends, but be cold to him until he’s begging for you. But no. You had to go and talk to him, and be nice to him. You are _weak._

You just can’t let him be sad. No matter how stupid he is, how bad he treats you, you still care way too much about him. Fuck.

He leaves you alone from then on. He smiles at you when you walk by, but he doesn’t try to talk to you. On Thursday and Friday, he hangs out with Vriska and you hang out with your other friends.

On Friday during lunch, Jade asks, “So, when do you think you can be near John again?”

“It wasn’t the same without you, and it’s not the same without him.” Rose adds, reaching out and touching your hand.

“Monday.”

“Really?” Kanaya smiles.

“Yeah. I mean maybe not sleepovers and shit but sitting near him during lunch, sure.”

“Oh, good!” Jade grins.

“Drama is only good in books and movies. In real life it fucking sucks.” Karkat mutters.

“Aw, did you miss me Karkat?” You smirk.

“No, Asswipe. John’s been acting like someone shot him in the foot, it's really annoying.”

You feel guilty for a second, but no. “Good. Fuck him.”

Rose smacks your arm. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

“You’re one to talk,” Jade grins.

That starts a dumb argument that you don’t participate it. Jade stops you when the bell rings.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

“How hurt were you by what John did?”

You think about how to answer. “You know how I’m always calm?”

“You always _look_ calm, you mean!”

“Sure. Well, I cried.”

Jade looks shocked for a second, and then sad. “Aw, Dave!” She hugs you around the waist and buries her face into your chest. You hug her back.

“Thanks,” You mutter, because you don’t know what to say.

She pulls away. “Have fun in 5th period!”

“You too.” You turn away from her and walk towards your class.

John bounces up next to you.

“Hey!”

“What do you want?”

“I want to talk to you, _obviously!_ ”

“I thought we agreed no talking until I’m ready.”

“Yeah I guess. What is taking you so long?” He gives you an exasperated face.

“Need I remind you that _you_ are the cause of this?”

“No, I think about it all the time.”

You reach your classrooms. “See you Monday.”

He smiles hesitantly before turning and walking into his classroom.

You can’t stop thinking about John for the rest of the day. Your mind just keeps wandering to how cute he is when he smiles and how expressive his face always is. You mentally bang your head on your desk for thinking like that. _He is not cute. He’s a dick._

But he is cute. And he’s not _usually_ a dick.

You sigh loudly. The teacher shushes you.

You drive home without turning on your music. You wallow in self-pity over how attached you are to John, how you can't even ignore him for a week, how you find yourself _so frustrated_ because of how cute he is, how sweet he is, even though he totally stomped on your feelings.

You decide that you can love him again, but you might not ever be able to trust him again.

The realization hits you like a brick. He’s still the same guy, but he made a mistake. And that mistake still hurts, but most of all, it _scares_ you. Because he might make a mistake like that again. You’ve always known him to be oblivious, even inconsiderate at times. But now you really understand what that means. It means he might hurt you over and over and then in hindsight apologize, because he understands what he did, but he didn’t understand what he was doing. And maybe it’s best if you stop hanging out with him, but fuck if he’s not your best friend. He’s an idiot, but he’s funny and interesting and deep down he’s so genuinely kind that you forgive him every time, every single fucking time he does anything wrong.

Maybe it’s your fault because you keep forgiving him.

You realize that you’re gripping the steering wheel so hard that your knuckles are white. You loosen your hands and while you do you exhale.

You get home and start your homework. It doesn’t take you long to finish. Then you have the whole weekend to do nothing.

You go up to your room and get on Pesterchum. Rose is on.

tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

TT: It hurts me to say so, but you might be being a tad dramatic.

TG: fucking hell  
TG: yeah this is the conversation i want to be having right now

TT: I just talked to John on the phone. He asked about you.

TG: yeah well i didn’t ask about him so

TT: Dave, please.  
TT: I told him that he is welcome to our table on Monday, and that you will be there too.

TG: great but i didnt ask for an update

TT: I’m not finished.  
TT: He was so happy, Dave.  
TT: He misses you so much.

TG: are you trying to guilt me into forgiving him

TT: No. I’m just trying to show you that he’s sorry and he regrets what he did.

TG: wow okay everythings cool now 

TT: I rolled my eyes after reading that. What more do you want from him, Dave?

TG: i want a guarantee that he wont fucking forget that i have feelings ever again  
TG: but im not going to get that because johns an idiot who doesnt think about other people until its too late  
TG: and yet here i am saying that ill hang with him again  
TG: and youre telling me im being dramatic and aw dave he misses you aw poor little guy  
TG: i get it johns a precious piece of art but he cant just walk all over people rose  
TG: he cant  
TG: its not fair but im going to be friends with him again because i miss him too  
TG: but im not going to feel bad for him im too busy feeling bad for myself

TT: Keep going.

TG: oh  
TG: oh youre getting off on this  
TG: fuck you im going to talk to jade

TT: No, Dave, I’m not.  
TT: I’m trying to help you.  
TT: That's all.  
TT: I don’t find joy in my friends’ suffering.

TG: ugh  
TG: okay  
TG: i feel bad for myself because i am an idiot  
TG: because that god damn buck toothed beauty is going to hurt me again  
TG: i mean he will right

TT: I wish I was more inclined to disagree.

TG: yeah  
TG: i mean its not even his fault hes not TRYING to hurt anyone  
TG: he just doesnt think  
TG: which is kinda shitty  
TG: but hes always so fucking sorry afterwards and fuck hes adorable isnt he  
TG: i think he knows hes adorable and purposely uses that against people  
TG: which is also shitty  
TG: but hes good at heart he really is  
TG: what am i even talking about  
TG: anyway in my truck i went through this epiphany where i realized that i can love him again but i cant trust him

TT: John just needs to grow up a little more, I think.  
TT: He’ll learn compassion at one time or another.

TG: yeah yeah yeah  
TG: like i said ill be friends with him again  
TG: not immediately though because fuck him he needs more punishment

TT: I think he’s gone through quite enough.  
TT: He cried on the phone.

TG: yeah and he cried at the end of con air big deal

TT: Dave, really.  
TT: I’m sorry that he hurt you but it’s been almost two weeks.  
TT: Let it go.

TG: itd be easier to let it go if i could let go of this shitty crush with it  
TG: this is unhealthy

TT: Oh, Dave.  
TT: It’ll go away eventually. 

TG: thanks i guess

TT: If you need to talk, I'm here, and so is Jade.  
TT: See you Monday.

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

You sigh. Are you being dramatic? Maybe.

You wonder how the conversation between John and Rose went. Why he would end up crying after she told him good news…

You wonder if he’s online.

You close Pesterchum and get off your computer. You can’t allow yourself to unblock him, not yet.

But then you decide that you need to hang out with someone, so you get back on Pesterchum almost right after you get off.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG]

TG: jade  
TG: jaaaaade  
TG: quick  
TG: get on  
TG: jade  
TG: jade pls

GG: oh my god!!  
GG: shut upppp  
GG: i can hear my computer bing-ing from downstairs!

TG: all i hear is complain complain complain

GG: oh really?  
GG: youre one to talk mr grumpy pants

TG: mr grumpy pants  
TG: okay stop i just wanna hang out

GG: right now?

TG: yeah

GG: im doing my homework

TG: its friday you have all weekend

GG: yeah but i already started and ill forget about it if i dont do it now :/

TG: just tie a string around your finger like you always do

GG: :|  
GG: is there a reason you need to hang out with me??

TG: is there a reason youre avoiding me

GG: grumpy grumpy grumpy  
GG: im not avoiding you i just wanna get this done!

TG: ugghhhhhHHHHHggghhhhG  
TG: i just wanna hang out with someone but rose is pissing me off

GG: she ALWAYS pisses you off >:(

TG: what  
TG: no

GG: well you always say she does :P

GG: just hang out with kanaya or terezi!  
GG: or...  
GG: ...........

TG: dont

GG: ....................

TG: im not going to hang out with him

GG: ...............................

TG: john  
TG: youre going to say john

GG: ...................

TG: why do you always do this

GG: ...........  
GG: .....

TG: jade

GG: john!

TG: sigh  
TG: like i said im not going to hang out with him  
TG: kanaya has her sowing class on fridays remember  
TG: and i could hang with terezi i guess but i like you better

GG: :D

TG: :D hang out with me

GG: cant!  
GG: bye dave!  
GG: <3

gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]

You glare at your computer screen.

Eventually, you decide to ask Rose.

turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

TG: yo yo yiggity yo  
TG: wanna hang bro  
TG: my sister from another mister  
TG: my home girl  
TG: home skillet  
TG: homie g 

TT: Dave.  
TT: You want to hang out?

TG: yeah

TT: Sure.  
TT: I was just about to go to the library, would you like to come with me?

TG: you asked that knowing that id rather suck a thousand dicks than go to the library with you

TT: I asked knowing you would say no.  
TT: I had no idea you were so passionate on the matter.

TG: yeah well  
TG: how bout a movie

TT: Sure.  
TT: Will you pick me up or should I meet your there?

TG: ill pick you up  
TG: see ya soon

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

So you see Rose and the movie takes your mind off of John. You get dinner with her afterward. For the rest of the weekend, you’re left on your own with nothing to do but watch TV and go on the internet.


	10. Monday

Your name is John Egbert and you’re still trying to re-befriend Dave.

On Thursday and Friday, you hang out with other friends so Dave can sit with your friends. Then, Friday night, you call Rose.

“Hey, John.” She answers.

“Hey,” You aimlessly doodle in an old notebook with a red pen. “Did Dave say anything about me?”

“Yes. You can sit with us on Monday. He will too.”

You can’t contain your grin. “Really?? Yay! Friendship restored!”

“I’m not sure about that,” Rose says slowly. “He’s still upset.”

“Oh,” You find that you’re drawing hearts on the paper. Your pen stops moving. “How upset?”

“I can’t say. He’s not incredibly vocal with his feelings.”

“Yeah…” You pause. “At least I can talk to him again!! That’s a step in the right direction! Maybe I can get him back by the end of the week!”

“ ‘Get him back,’ makes it sound an awful lot like you were dating.”

You might have blushed.

“Whatever, Rose.” There’s silence for a moment before you ask, “Rose? Do you think it’ll ever be the same between Dave and me again?”

“Oh, yeah. If you ask me, Dave’s just being dramatic. What you did wasn’t all that bad.”

“Yes it was!” You protest. “I—I disregarded his feelings! I acted like it would just be a kiss for him but it wasn’t, it was like, like a declaration of love that I, that I didn’t actually mean, like I lied or…” Your voice gets quiet. “Rose, he really likes, or liked me…” Your eyes begin to water. “And then I just took that and played with it, you know?”

All of a sudden you’re sobbing, and she’s trying to calm you down, speaking in a soothing tone, telling you that it’s okay, and you’re not a bad person, that sort of thing.

Somehow, while you stutter and ramble about why what you did was wrong, you realize something.

You like Dave. You really, truly, do.

You didn’t like him that night when you kissed him. But since he started trying to avoid you… and sort of failing (he gave you a ride home!! Idiot), it happened. And you’re on the phone with Rose, and you’re sobbing and you realize that you have a legitimate crush on Dave Strider and you swear you stop breathing.

“… John? Are you still there?”

“Rose, I like Dave.”

“Sure, so do I.”

“No, I _like_ Dave.”

“You… You do?”

“Yes!”

“That information came a bit late don’t you think?”

“Yeah, what the hell took it so long?”

“So rude to come so late.”

“We could have avoided A LOT of drama!”

“Yeah—Oh, he’s on Pesterchum. I’m going to talk to him.”

“Don’t tell him!”

“Of course not. Bye, John. I love you.”

“Love you too!”

You hang up the phone.

You’re not sure if liking Dave will make things easier or harder, but you do know that you can’t tell him as soon as you see him. He might not even like you anymore! Besides, what bullshit. “Oh yeah, I just crushed your heart like 2 weeks ago but I take it back! Bam, we’re boyfriends now.”

The word echoes in your mind. You repeat it over and over, hoping it will begin to sound more natural… It doesn’t work.

You never thought you’d ever like a boy. You were exposed to so much heteronormality while growing up. Not a lot of homophobia, but still. You thought you’d grow up and marry a smart, beautiful woman and have a couple beautiful children with her… Such was life in the suburbs. You didn’t even know that sexualities other than straight and gay existed until high school! So you guess that’s why the word “boyfriends” sounds so wrong.

You’ll get used to it, you hope.

You can’t wait until Monday!! You continue doodling with the red pen. You draw 2 ovals and color them in. You attach them with a curved line. Then you draw a head and a mouth and hair. Then a body consisting of two not-quite-parallel lines for the torso and more lines for the arms, legs, and shoulders. You color the shirt in like Dave’s baseball shirt with the broken record on it. You draw stupid hearts around the shitty drawing and grin down at the paper stupidly. You grab a blue pen and doodle yourself next to him, and then you grab the rest of your colored pens and draw your other friends with the color of their text on Pesterchum.

It’s poorly done, but you can tell who everyone is. You laugh at yourself for a second before ripping the paper out and slipping it into the front of your binder. For some reason, you’re happy.

You ask Jade if she can hang out, because you want to tell her that you like Dave. She says yeah and you go over to her house. The two of you squeal over it and then play Mario Party.

“Wait,” She pauses the game. “I think my computer just went off.”

You listen. It dings again. “I heard it.”

“Let’s go see who messaged me!”

As the two of you run upstairs, it goes off three more times.

“It’s Dave!” She beams. You giggle with her.

You read over her shoulder. She pretends to be annoyed with him. You smile at Dave’s responses.

“Oh, I’m popular today!” She laughs when Dave asks her to hang out. She tells him that she’s busy, but he’s difficult about it.

She suggests that he hang out with Kanaya or Terezi instead, and then she starts typing long ellipses. You know she’s gonna say your name.

“Jade! Don’t!”

“Why not?? Party pooper,” She sticks her tongue out at you and continues pressing the period key.

“I’m hanging out with _you_ right now!”

“Oh please, I’m sooo flattered but you KNOW you’d rather hang out with Dave!” She clicks enter.

You continue to argue with her as she draws out the topic with periods meant to frustrate you and Dave. It’s all in good fun though, the two of you are laughing at Dave and each other and shoving each other’s arms and you try to smash your hands onto the keyboard, but she kicks you away forcefully.

“Ow!” You whine.

“Oops! Sorry!” She bats her eyelashes and continues typing.

You watch the rest of the conversation quietly.

“I missed his red text,” You sigh, falling onto her bed.

“Aww.” She sits by your head, legs crossed, and you rest your head on the fabric of her skirt. She plays with your hair.

“Do you think he still likes me?”

“Probably.”

“Yeah?”

“Why _wouldn’t_ he like you? You’re adorable.”

“Because I’m a dick.”

“Yes, but he likes dick, doesn’t he?”

“Pfffffff.”

You laugh with her. The two of you talk for a while longer in her room before you go downstairs and play more Mario Party. Then you hug her goodbye and walk home.

The weekend passes slowly. On Monday, you jump out of bed and go through your morning rituals as fast as you can.

Rose offered to give you a ride. She arrives with Jade in the passenger seat. You hop in the back.

“Hey guys!”

Rose starts driving. “Good Morning. I hope you don’t mind, I’ll be picking up Dave as well.”

“No, I don’t mind!” You grin.

Dave gets in the car, but not without a frustrated sigh and a glare to Rose.

“I didn’t know you were picking them up.” He says tightly.

Jade turns in her seat and smacks his knee. “Lighten up, Mr. Grumpy pants!”

“Is that just my name now?”

“It is until you stop being so bitter!”

“Then what? Mr. Cheery pants?”

You snort a laugh. “There’s a dick joke in there somewhere!”

“The dick in my pants ain’t no joke.” Dave returns quickly.

“Prove it.” You grin, but he’s not looking at you.

“Be careful what you wish for.”

“Jeez, you two.” Jade laughs.

You’re a little annoyed that Dave doesn’t look at you. You hope he’s thinking about how easily you two get along or something good like that.

You arrive at school and go find Karkat and Kanaya. They’re talking to Terezi about the New Year’s Eve party.

“Hey guys!” She greets enthusiastically. She uses a hand to point at you and the other to point at Dave, as if she’s making finger pistols. “Good to see you two together again!”

Dave glances at you but doesn’t say anything. You grin.

She turns to Karkat and says, “I’m going to the library, wanna come?”

She starts walking away before he answers, so he just nods at you and your friends and follows after her.

The rest of you go to find a place to sit. You sneak up behind Dave and secure a spot next to him. He crosses his arms stiffly over his chest, as if resisting the urge to put his arm around you, or, you hope that's why.

You poke his arm. “Hey Dave!”

“Sup,”

You poke him again. “Nothing’s sup with me. Is something sup with you?”

He turns his head to look at you with a perfect poker face. “You’re a huge dork.”

“I get it, you’ve only told me 4 million times!” You casually lean on him. “You’re a bigger dork.”

“I am not.”

“Yessssssss.”

The bell rings and he hops up quick enough for you to fall over.

“Shit,” He mutters, turning to look at you. “Uh, sorry.”

“It’s fine!” You smile at him, standing up.

He nods and turns to walk to his first period. You say bye to your friends before doing the same.

At break, you quickly find your friends. Dave’s already sitting next to Jade and Rose, so you sit between Rose and Karkat. Kanaya comes after you and sits next to Karkat and Jade. Break goes by like any other day.

At lunch, you get a spot next to Dave. After both of you are done eating, you try to lean on him. He scoots away slightly. You look at him with an exaggerated frustration face, and he raises his eyebrows at you. The others are talking about something random. You poke Dave’s cheek. His eyebrows knit. You stifle a giggle by biting your lip and smiling. You scoot closer to him and he tenses, his hands balling into loose fists.

“Back off, dude.” He mutters.

“Why?”

“Because you’re making me uncomfortable.”

“We’ve been _much_ close than this before!”

“Yeah, well, that was before.”

You make another frustrated face. “You still don’t forgive me?”

“No, not really.”

“Dave, let’s go talk.” Rose interrupts.

“About what?”

“You’ll see.” She stands and pulls him away from our table.

The others continue talking about whatever they were before, but you can tell they all want to know what Rose is saying. You strain your ears to listen, but you can’t hear them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so, I'm done writing this fic, and I started a new chapter fic but I'm not sure how that one's gonna go really, so I decided to try something else. I want to do a series of Oneshots based off of songs, or like, including the song, you know? I'm thinking 20. What I was going to do is just put my itunes on shuffle and do the first song to come up, right? But the problem with that is that I get songs like, say, Ladies and Their Sensitivities from Sweeney Todd or an instrumental from Frozen, or a song that is completely in French from Moulin Rouge (and I do not speak French), and ?? OR I get a song like Blind by Kesha-- I don't want to write about one of them cheating on the other. So, I thought I'd ask you guys to give me some ideas!  
> Know any songs that make you think, "wow, this would make a great johndave fic?" Let me know! Go ahead, give me a couple songs you'd like me to use. I can't promise that I'll use it, I might not be able to think of anything for it, but I'll try! Thanks in advance!


	11. "Everything I do is cool." "Yeah right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> posting this early bc i dont care about anything anymore  
> jk i just already edited it so whatever  
> i might post the last chapter tomorrow or maybe ill wait till tuesday i dont kno w but im gonna start the oneshots soon so ??

Your name is Dave Strider and you’re about to get lectured.

“Alright, lay it on me.” You sigh, stuffing your hands into your pockets.

“What are you trying to accomplish?” Rose folds her arms over her chest and looks at you sternly.

“What do you mean?”

“You _know_ what I mean. You’re being needlessly harsh. Why?”

“I’m just not ready to be friends with him again.”

“Dave, if you’d start talking to him again, it’ll be easier to forgive him.”

“How?”

“You’ll be reminded of what great friends you used to be and how easily you two get along.”

“You really don’t think I remember how awesome our friendship was?”

“I’m not saying that.” She pauses. “I get that what John did was wrong and inconsiderate and I’m sorry, but making John feel bad isn’t going to make you feel better.”

You just look at her, thinking about what she said.

“You’re going to apologize to him.” Rose commands calmly.

“What, no I’m not.”

She takes a step towards you and makes eye contact through your glasses. “Dave Strider, you are going to walk back to that table, and say that you’re sorry.”

“For what?”

“For being rude.”

“But—”

“Dave.”

You glare at her for a second before turning towards the table. You don’t understand how you’re at fault here.

You sit back down next to John. “Sorry, Egnog.”

He looks at you in surprise for a second before his lips curl into a smile. “It’s cool!”

“Of course it is. Everything I do is cool”

“Yeah right.” Jade laughs.

“Sick burn, bro. You wound me.” You sneer sarcastically. Jade laughs again.

John scoots just a little closer to you. You hesitantly wrap an arm around his shoulders, knowing that’s what he wants. His eyes light up and he scoots closer and leans on you. You don’t really _want_ to, or at least not like you used to want to, but you know it means something to him.

Lunch goes by. When the bell rings, you and John stand up and John easily slips his hand into yours.

“What.” You deadpan.

“What?” He responds, beginning to walk towards your next period.

You walk with him. “This isn’t a thing we usually do.”

“Hm, what isn’t?”

“You’re acting like you don’t know what I’m talking about, but you do.”

“Why would I do that?”

You sigh and just walk with him.

When you stop in front of your classrooms, he suggests, “Sleepover tonight?”

“I don’t think so.” You gaze down at your hands. His fingers are still protectively tangled with yours.

“Why not?”

“I’m busy,” You lie, poker face intact.

He looks at you, half irritated half hurt, trying to find your eyes behind your shades. “No you aren’t.”

“Ya got me. The bell’s about to ring.”

“No, we’ve got at least 2 more minutes of passing period. Why don’t you want to have a sleep over?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“No, it’s not. Explain it to me.”

You open your mouth. You close it. You can’t explain it. There isn’t a reason other than “I want to be bitter to John,” which is obviously petty and childish. John just looks at you with this comically stern face, waiting for an answer, knowing he’s got you stumped. He always does this, he sees through you until you’re nothing, and it pisses you off because _why isn’t he intimidated by you like everyone else is?_

You sigh and his lips twitch into a small smile. “Sure. Sleepover. Your house or mine?”

His devious look quickly turns into a giant grin. “I don’t care, as long as I’m with you!”

Your heart flutters, but you keep your cold look. “Mine.”

“Cool.” He squeezes your hand before letting it go. “See ya!”

You watch as he turns to his classroom and walks through the door. You’re mad at yourself for giving up, but you tell yourself it’s for the best and soon you’ll have a best friend again… Then you just walk into your class and try to forget about it.

You meet John, Rose, and Jade at the end of the day. With a large smile, John tells Rose that he’s going to your house. She says okay and hands her car keys to Jade, telling her and John to wait in the car.

When you look at her, she’s smiling a genuine smile. Not mischievous, not smug, not accusatory.

“Thank you.” She says.

“Yeah. He practically backed me into it, but you’re fucking welcome.”

“What happened?”

You sigh and idly pull at the straps of your backpack as you tell the story in as little detail as possible.

“I’m glad. Just get your homework done. It is a Monday, after all.” She replies.

“Nerd.”

“Maybe so, but you’re a ditz.”

“I am not.”

“I know you aren’t, but you are irresponsible. Don’t worry, I’m here to look out for you.”

“I’m older than you.”

“By a day.” She pauses. “Have fun tonight. Don’t let yourself ruin it.”

“How long did it take you to come up with that?”

She rolls her eyes. “Why must you antagonize me?”

You open your mouth to answer, but you’re cut off by Jade yelling, “HURRY UP!”

You and Rose look at each other and then start walking towards the car. She lightly bumps into you and you bump her back, slightly harder. She turns and starts walking backwards in front of you, does nothing for a moment, and then quickly pulls one drawstring on your hoodie and runs towards the car. You shake your head, chuckling softly, before running after her.

You get into the back seat and John smiles at you. You nod in his direction.

“Today someone suggested that I’m dating Karkat.” Jade starts. “Can you believe that?”

“Yeah, I can! It happens to all of us.” John replies.

“I haven’t been accused of dating Karkat.” You counter.

“Okay, but any of our friends.”

You hum in response. That conversation goes on until Rose stops outside of Jade’s house.

“Bye guys! Thanks Rose! Have fun you two,” She looks at you and then John. She winks and wiggles her eyebrows at him. He laughs and tells her to get out.

“I wonder what that was about,” Rose mutters, smiling knowingly, as she starts to drive.

“Shut up, Rose,” John says, but he’s smiling.

“Is there something yall aren’t telling me?” You ask warily, knowing you’re not gonna get an answer.

“What are you talking about?” Rose smiles slightly.

John bites back a grin. “Why would we keep anything from you?”

“Ah. Answering with questions. Classy.” You don’t care, it was probably stupid.

Soon, Rose stops the car in front of your house and bids both of you farewell. You grab your backpack with one hand, scoot out of her car, and walk towards your door, not waiting for John.

His response to your gesture of hostility is to jump on you from behind, and you almost fall face first onto the concrete. You mentally thank Bro for training you to be alert at all times.

“Dude, what the hell?” You scoff, adjusting your position to hold him.

His arms are around your neck and his legs around your torso. He clings to you easily with no hesitation.

“You need to treat me better, you asshole.” He whispers sweetly into your ear.

“You’re the one who just tried to tackle me onto concrete.”

You walk to your door with him on your back and fish your key out of your backpack. He holds himself to you.

“This relationship isn’t going to work if you’re mean to me.”

“Yeah, then leave.” He doesn’t reply, but you immediately feel guilty. You walk inside with him. “Sorry.”

“I’d kick you but I can’t in this position.” He says finally.

You kick the door closed and set your backpack down. “When are you gonna get off of me?”

“I don’t know if I will.”

“I will lay down on you if you don’t get off on your own.”

“Go ahead.”

You shrug and walk over to the living room. You make a show of pausing before falling backwards onto the couch. John lets out a loud OOF when you land.

“Augh, get off!” He groans, pushing against you.

You flip and hover over him. He smiles and tangles his hands into your hair.

“I missed you,” He coos.

“I missed you too.” You reply, trying to sound casual, but in reality you really, really missed this.

His hands reach your cheeks and he stares at you with a loving expression and you melt.

Without any warning, his hands drop from your face and he’s tickling your stomach. You start laughing breathlessly and as he continues. Your arms get weak and you fall onto him. He OOFs again.

“Jeez, Dave, have you been eating your feelings again?”

“If you’re not nice to me I won’t get up.”

“That’s okay. I like it.” His legs are still around you, but lower than when you were standing. He lifts his lower body up and pushes against you.

“Um, dude. Gay.”

“Takes one to know one.”

“Your point is invalid, it’s old news that I’m gay.”

“True.”

You get off of him and help him up.

“That got a little weird.” John chuckles.

You shrug and walk back into the front room to grab your backpack. You walk back into the living room.

“Oops, I left my bag on the ground when I jumped on you. I’ll be right back.” He jogs past you and out of the door.

You sit on the couch and get your homework out. You’ve already answered a few questions by the time John is back.

“Ew, homework.” He says, falling onto the couch next to you.

“Well, you chose Monday.”

“How much do you have?” He sighs, unzipping his backpack.

“In one second…” You trail off, finishing the last question on your science worksheet. “There. Finished science. Now I just have Math and English.” You and John have the same teacher for English.

“I have math too.”

“Mine’s just a worksheet. I’m halfway done.” You take it out of your binder and start working on it.

“I have like 40 questions from the text book.” He groans.

The two of you work in silence for a minute before you decide to put music on. You find your laptop and hook it up to your speakers. Before you play anything, you make sure that the volume is only half up. You play the Arctic Monkeys album Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I’m Not and sit back down.

“What’s this?” John asks.

“Arctic Monkeys.”

He nods and you continue working.

It doesn’t take long for you to finish your math homework. You look over his shoulder as he keeps working. Your English homework is to memorize a poem with at least 4 stanzas by Wednesday. You think you wanna do something famous for ironic purposes, but you’re not sure.

Finally, John finishes and looks at you with a relieved sigh. “I hate math.” He pulls his legs onto the couch and sits facing you. “What poem are you gonna do for English?”

“I think maybe _The Raven_ by Edgar Allan Poe, for irony.”

“How is that ironic?”

“It’s an obvious choice. Cliche.”

He pauses. “The concept of irony escapes me.”

“I know. What poem are you gonna use?”

“I don’t know, I’m not really into poetry.”

“I’ve got poetry books in my room,” You say, standing up.

“You do?” He follows you. “You like poetry?”

“Yeah,” You answer simply, walking up the stairs. “In fact, I’ve got like 10 poems memorized. But I think I will go for _The Raven_. I tried memorizing it once but couldn’t, so it’s like a challenge.”

“Recite me a poem!” He tugs on your sleeve so that you stop.

You turn around to see him smiling at you. “Like what?”

“How about… Um... Shakespeare! Do you know any Shakespeare?”

“I know Sonnet 18.” You wish you knew a different sonnet, because 18 is cliché as fuck, but that makes it ironic, right? Besides, it really is a good poem.

“Okay, sure!”

You take a breath and start, trying to sound poetic and practiced,

“ _Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?_  
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:  
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,  
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:  
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,  
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;  
And every fair from fair sometime declines,  
By chance, or nature's changing course, untrimm'd;  
But thy eternal summer shall not fade  
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;  
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,  
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st;  
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,  
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee”

You watch John as you speak and he’s looking at your lips like they’re the most interesting thing in the world. When you finish, you wait for him to say something, but he just continues staring at you.

“That was the end,” You point out, as if maybe he thought you weren’t done.

“I—oh, yeah, I figured.” He blinks a couple times.

“Then why are you still staring at my lips?”

“’Cause they’re pretty.”

“Okay, I don’t know what’s up with you, but like the good friend I am I’m going to ignore it. Let’s go find you a poem.”

You put your hand on his back and lead him to your room. He jumps onto your bed as you fish the poetry books out of your bottom drawer, hidden behind blankets and posters so no one will find them. You throw the smaller ones onto you bed, close the drawer and walk over with the bigger ones. You set them down.

“Here they are.” You announce.

John looks at the collection in wonder. “That’s a lot! How did I not know you like poetry?”

“I don’t usually tell people.”

He smiles at you with a face that says _I’m glad you trust me._

He finds his poem out of a compilation book with poems by various poets. You do choose _The Raven_ , reading out of your Complete Edgar Allan Poe Works book. The two of you go back and forth reciting your poems until they’re both memorized. By then, it’s late, and too late to have real dinner, so you both curl up on the couch with ice cream and watch a movie instead. Bro greets you at one point but doesn’t bother you at all.

When it’s past midnight and time to go to bed, John jumps on you again and you give him a piggy back ride up to your room. You two quickly get ready and lay in your bed, facing each other.

“You’re my best friend.” John whispers into the night air.

“And you’re mine.”

“Forever, right?”

“Yeah.”

“I… I’m sorry for what I did. Again. I mean, I still am. That was really shitty.”

“It’s okay.”

“It won’t happen again. Next time I kiss you, I’ll mean it.”

“Alright.” You ignore his weird way or wording things.

“I love you, Dave.”

“I love you too.”

 He scoots closer to you and grabs your hand. The two of you drift into sleep quickly.


	12. I'm Yours

Your name is Dave Strider and John Egbert is in your bed.

You both wake up to your alarm in the morning. _Oh Bo_ by Bo Burnham plays from your phone and you sit up and stop it. John sits up after you.

“Morning,” He says drowsily.

“Morning,” You reply, glancing at him before kicking your legs off the bed. “You don’t have clothes, do you?”

“No, can I borrow some?”

“Sure.”

He scoots over to you and sits with his legs half off the bed like you. “Look at me.”

You look at him and he smiles.

“I love your eyes.” He explains, hopping off the bed. He walks to your closet and starts looking for a shirt. He snorts and pulls a shirt out, displaying it for you to look at. “This is mine.”

It’s a Ghostbusters shirt you borrowed from him, you don’t know, 6 months ago? Since then, you’ve worn it a few times, and you like having it. “So it is.”

He smiles and puts it back. He ends up wearing your favorite shirt, a red and white ¾ sleeves baseball shirt with a broken record on it. He kneels by your pants drawer and looks through it as you pick out a shirt. He pulls out a pair of skinny jeans and holds them up.

“How could anyone fit in these?”

“You have to have a certain amount of swag before you can fit into jeans like that.” You reach out and take them. He watches as you pull them on. You turn and model them a little bit. “See?”

“I don’t see any swag.”

“Rude.” You sit on your bed and wait for him to get ready.

“Dude, all you have are skinny jeans.” He complains.

You stand up again and kneel next to him. You quickly find your one pair of dark blue boot cut jeans and give them to him. He stands and puts them on.

“How do I look?” He asks.

“Your hair is hilarious, but other than that you look cool.”

“Cool?”

“Yeah, I mean, they are my clothes. They have to be cool.”

He rolls his eyes and grabs his clothes from yesterday off the floor. “I’m going to the bathroom.”

“Wait, I have to pee.” You tell him

“So do I! I’ll be out in a minute, don’t worry.”

You let him go. You sit on your bed and take a mirror out of your bedside drawer. You start examining your face and hair, and that’s how John finds you when he walks in.

“You’re such a girl.”

You put the mirror down. “That’s not an insult. Girls are cool.” You pause. “If I’m a girl, do you like me yet?”

He grins widely. “Sure,”

You raise your eyebrows, stand, and start walking towards the door. “You really are a tease, my friend. Not the sexy kind.” You lightly shove him as you pass, and you think he might’ve turned around to say something but you’re already out the door.

You get into the bathroom, piss, splash water onto your face to wake you up, and style your hair. You’d take a shower if you didn’t have company. Deodorant will do just fine.

You meet John downstairs. The two of you eat Froot Loops and leave.                     

“Dave,” He says as you walk down your driveway.

“Yeah?” You turn around and stop in front of him.

“Can I drive?”

You shrug and hand him the keys. “Go ahead. Don’t hurt my truck.”

“I won’t! Thanks, Dave! I can’t wait to get my own car.”

He skips over the driver’s side and unlocks it. You settle into the passenger’s seat as he positions his seat and gets familiar with the pedals. You turn the music on as he starts to drive. AM is still in.

John sings along to the chorus of Do I Wanna Know, getting a few words wrong, much to your amusement. You sing all of R U Mine, looking at him the entire time. He gazes at you halfway through the first verse and blushes.

John’s a good driver. You get to school quickly and safely, and he parks in one of the open student parking spaces. It’s way earlier than most people get to school and the gates aren’t open.

“None of our friends are here yet. Wanna just hang out in here while we wait?” John suggests.

“Sure,” You take your seatbelt off and get comfortable.

He pauses for a moment, nervously tapping the steering wheel. “Can I ask you a question?”

Wow, that’s nerve wracking. “Go for it.”

“Do you still like me?”

“Huh?”

“Do you still have a crush on me?”

“Oh. Uh, yeah.”

“So if I told you that I like you, you’d be like, hell yeah let’s go hold hands and kiss and everything.”

“…Yes?”

“Okay, well, I like you.”

“…”

“Dave?” He looks at you.

“Sorry, what?”

“I have a crush on you. I want to date you.”

You pause. “No you don’t.”

“What? Yes I do.”

“No, you don’t.”

His eyebrows knit. “I do. Why don’t you believe me?”

“I don’t know.”

“Really?”

“… I don’t trust you anymore, I guess, I don’t know.”

You can pinpoint the exact second his face falls and you see his heart break in his eyes.

“Dave…” He trails off. All of a sudden your gut wrenches in guilt.

“I mean,” You sit up and angle your body more towards him. “I—I… I do trust you, mostly—”

“We’ve been friends since 3rd grade.” He reminds you. “Best friends. And you don’t trust me to know who I like?”

“Well, it’s just, usually when one kisses another it’s a sign of romantic affection but when you kissed me it wasn’t that, so…?” You try to explain it, mostly to him but also to yourself.

“Okay… okay yeah I get that. But I promise, I do have a big fat crush on you.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes I’m sure!”

“Well, shit. When did that happen?”

“Last Friday, when I was on the phone with Rose.”

“She helped you get in touch with your feelings?” You scoff.

“Not really. I was just, like, crying thinking about how much of a dick I was—and it came to me, you know?”

“I guess. If only it came to you like a month ago.”

“Yeah…”

He looks nervous. He’s wiggling his hands around the steering wheel and looking at his lap.

“Well, um, hey. Wanna be my boyfriend?”

He looks at you and smiles. “Yes!”

“Alright, uh, cool.”

John laughs, musing about how awkward this conversation was, and you smile. Not long after that, Jade pops up outside your window and knocks on it. You roll it down.

“Sup, Harley?”

“Get out of your car and hang out with me instead!!”

You shrug and open your door to get out. John gets out, locks the truck, and tosses you the keys.

Jade leads you to a spot against the gate and sits down. You sit across from her and John sits next to you.

“What are you guys doing here so early?” She grins.

“We didn’t realize how early we left.” John answers.

“What about you?” You ask.

She shrugs. “I always come this early.”

“Ew, why?” John makes a disgusted face.

She just shrugs again. The three of you hang out there until the gates open. Once all your friends are there, John says, “Hey!” about 20 times to get everyone’s attention.

“Okay,” He starts, grinning at you. “Dave and I are together now!!”

Jade gasps, grins, and claps her hands excitedly. Rose smiles. Karkat gapes. Kanaya looks surprised for a second before smiling slightly.

“ _WHAT?”_ Karkat asks incredulously.

“Yup,” You lean in, resting your forearms on the table. “John’s been gay all along.”

“Not _gay_ ,” John chuckles. “Bisexual? Pan? Poly? Something like that.”

"Whatevz," 

“Wait—” Karkat starts. “John, you actually like Dave?”

“Yeah!”

“I thought you were straight as an arrow.”

“Well, hold on,” He pulls his backpack off the floor and on to his lap and digs a sharpie and a stack of Post-it notes out of the front pocket. He draws something on the top note. “I’m more like this,” He passes the note to Karkat, who likes at it and shrugs before handing it back.

You and Rose look at the note over John’s shoulders. It’s an arrow, except there’s a single 90° turn in the line.

Rose traces over the line as she talks. “So here is when you’re straight, and there,” her finger glides over the turn. “Is when you began swinging for the other team?”

John nods. “Dave’s team, specifically.”

“So right there,” Her finger goes back and stops on the turn. “Was our phone call?”

“I guess.”

Kanaya chuckles slightly. “Finally,”

“Right there with you, Maryam.” You reply.

John laughs quietly. “Shut up, you guys.”

The day goes by as any other one, except there’s a slight warmth in your bones. You meet up with John after school.

When he catches sight of you strolling up to him, a big smile grows on his face. He waits for you eagerly and as much as you’d love to run up to him you keep your below average, casual pace. As soon as you’re arm’s length away, he reaches out and grabs you by the fabric of your jacket. He pulls you down forcefully and looks you in the eye past your glasses for a second before kissing you softly.

All too soon, he gently pushes you away and turns, grinning. “Let’s go to your car!”

You sigh and follow after him. “Earlier, when I said you weren’t the sexy kind of tease? I take it back.”

He just smirks and laces his fingers into yours. Without warning, he starts running. You run with him, though you’d rather walk. When you reach your truck, he stops and looks up at you. Your free hand paws at the fabric of his shirt that covers his waist. Eventually, he lifts himself up onto his toes and wraps an arm around your neck. He rests his head on your shoulder and whispers into your ear.

“I’m yours, Dave Strider.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ////// the end  
> m an im glad to be done with this fic  
> i liked parts of it but overall it was eh  
> i know what im going to do for my next chapter fic, but i dont have /all/ of it figured out, so for now i'll be writing oneshots :]  
> thanks for reading everyone~ hope you enjoyed it!


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